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“What? How do you know?”
“I just do.” I wanted to share more, but something held me back. I wasn’t ready to tell him I’d seen her. Not yet. Before he could ask anything else, I changed the subject. “So what happened in there? I mean, I know I passed out, but you looked pretty freaked out.”
He ran a hand over his face and looked to the cloudy sky as if there were answers. “I was. You lost all the color in your face and just fell.”
“I don’t feel sore.”Had I hit my head?
“I caught you, and the doc told me to put you in the chair. Then they took out smelling salts. They set the tiny tube under your nose, but you didn’t wake up. It was about a full minute until you did.”
“I heard you.”
“Yeah, I was shouting your name. I’m surprised they didn’t kick me out for disturbing the other patients.”
I was confused but didn’t want to analyze anything. “I’m pretty tired. I think I’m going to go home and get some rest.”
“I’m not sure you should drive yourself. I can take you back.”
“No.” Then I wouldn’t have my car. Or he would come in with me, and I didn’t trust myself because falling asleep in his arms was what I wanted more than anything. The one-hundred-eighty-degree shift of emotions with him today was too much, and I felt way too vulnerable. “I’m fine. And I’ll call you when I get the test results.”
His phone rang, and when he pulled it out and looked at the screen, he swore. I took that as my cue to get in the car. His eyes flicked to mine once more before he took off toward his SUV.
I was right not to give in to him. As always, he left. And despite the dream or vision or whatever it was, the truth was that he wouldn’t be there for me—for us.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
PHOENIX
Holy shit, that was fucking insane. They stuck a needle as long as my forearm into Aspen’s stomach, and she took it like a badass. Maybe Grandad should have bet on her. I had a feeling she would put him in his place without even breaking a sweat.
I wasn’t handling things with him very well. But he was family… he’d been there for Shane and me. Even if I didn’t agree—at all—with his current manipulative methods, I didn’t see any other way out. Once I was in the NFL, I wouldn’t have to rely on him for anything. His visit had highlighted the dark secrets in our family and that what I thought I knew was likely wrong.
After parking, I hurried inside to grab some food before leaving for the game. Shane was coming out of the kitchen, and we almost collided.
“You look like shit.”
He scowled, only accenting how tired he appeared with the same heavy circles under his eyes like what Mom always had. “You don’t look much better.”
I could only imagine what I looked like. That shit with Aspen had been insane.
Shane just stood there, not saying a word, and I pulled myself from my head. He was finally here, not running off to somewhere else, and for once, I didn’t want to argue with him. Things were already fucked beyond repair. I needed my brother back.
“You going to the game?” I shouldn’t have had to ask. Football was a huge part of our lives, and there simply was no missing games or practices unless we physically couldn’t participate.
“What kind of question is that?” he snapped. “Of course I’m going.”
I could tell we were going to come to blows if I didn’t defuse the energy. I took a step back and a deep breath and deliberately relaxed my posture. “I have no idea what’s going on with you, man. You’re here for a few minutes and then gone. You don’t say where you are or who you’re with, so I’m left guessing. And I need to talk to you.” He was completely clueless about what was going on in my life. “The only thing that makes sense to me is that you’re back with Tracey. Because your absence…” I didn’t want to say the rest. He knew what school was like for me, and he’d fucking bailed. But I went for it. “You not being here has made shit really hard for me, dude.”
“And the shit you’ve done hasn’t been hard on me?” He blinked then looked away. “Dammit, Phoenix. It’s not about Tracey.” He scowled. “Well, it was before, but that’s not it anymore.”
“I’m sorry.”Fuck. I linked my hands behind my neck and looked to the ceiling. Nothing was fixed. I could still feel the distance like a wall between us. “School is kicking my ass, and I’m worried about football. I needed your help.”
“I… I’m equally as concerned about my scholarship and the extra money I have to pay… Not everyone got a full ride like you did. And I can’t take on your struggles too.” An angry breath crashed between us as he brushed past me, heading for the door. “I’ve just got a lot going on. I’ll see you at the field.”
I got an orange from the fridge and slammed the door shut, causing things to rattle dangerously inside. I didn’t have time for anything else. On the way out, I passed Damon.
“What was that about? I just saw Shane, and he has that same pissed-off expression.” He pointed at me. “You two fighting again?”
“How could we? He doesn’t stay around long enough to have an actual conversation.” I was furious with my brother, but most of all, I missed him. And I hadn’t even gotten a chance to ask him if he’d had any weird encounters with Grandad.
