Page 5 of Cruel Hate


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Phoenix didn’t follow. A part of me was deeply upset about that. But it showed me he didn’t care and probably never would. I needed to stop wasting my time with him.It’s the baby and me. That was my life, and I needed to get used to it.

Back in my dorm room, once the anger dissipated, I took another nap because that was all I seemed to do. Class, eat, sleep, and repeat. What I needed was to get a job. One thing at a time. I made a dash for the bathroom since I seemed to have to pee way more than normal lately.Is that another symptom?Couldn’t be… I was only a little over three months.

It was nice that my roommate was rarely around, but it sucked, too, because I would have to give up my sweet setup in the dorms. With my diving scholarship gone, I took a long look at what I’d managed to save for my payment plan for school and reached the conclusion that I couldn’t afford the meal plan and living expenses.

When my phone rang, I lunged for it, happy to push aside financial dilemmas. Regan’s face, so similar to mine, filled the screen, and I swiped to answer. “Hey.” Butterflies took flight in my stomach. I needed to tell her.

“Guess what happened!” Regan squealed, her excitement tangible through the screen.

I grinned and flopped onto my bed, happy to delay my news. “What?”

“First of all, it’s been ah-maz-ing living here and not with Mom and Dad. And you’ll never guess what happened last night. Dane gave me a promise ring!”

Wow. I was genuinely happy for her. If any two people could make it in marriage, it would be them. “Regan, that’s so great. But what did his parents think? They know, right?”

Regan and Dane had been together for two years. Since we moved a few months before the summer, she would have had to change schools, but his parents had offered her a room for her senior year. She was much better off with them anyway.

She snorted, flipping her long shiny hair over her shoulder. “They love me. And his sister already tried to claim maid of honor. As if it would be anyone but you.”

A sliver of alarm shot through me. “Wait. You’re talking about a wedding like it’s soon. You’re not getting married before you graduate, are you?”

“No. I mean, I would. But we talked about waiting until we graduate from college. Dane just wanted me to know how sure he is before we move in together next year.”

I sagged against the mattress as relief coursed through me. It would be hard enough to juggle school and pregnancy. Add a wedding into the mix, and I thought I would hit obligation overload.

But Dane’s family was wealthy. Everything would probably be taken care of for her, with very little required of me. His parents also had a condo in New York, where Dane and Regan planned to live while they went to college. Regan would go for fashion design and merchandizing not far from Dane’s school, and she had a full ride, thanks to the Future of Fashion contest she’d won.

Why have I made such a mess of my life?I was happy for my sister and her charmed life, but I had made such a mess of mine. It was as if I was destined to repeat the mistakes of my parents. Destined to struggle. I never should have given in to Phoenix that day at the cove.

Intelligence and creativity were the only things our parents had given us that I was grateful for. Despite their fucked-up lives, they were brilliant, but they were stupid regarding love and made impulsive money decisions. I had learned more from them than my starry-eyed sister had. I didn’t believe in love or marriage. And because I was having the baby, it was fortunate I was very good with money.

That thought made it more apparent than ever that I needed to get a job. I’d quit my waitressing one back home because I’d known the drive would be more than I could handle. Too much gas and a high risk of my aging car breaking down.

“Aspen. You still there?” Regan tapped her screen.

Shoot. I forgot I was on the phone. “I’m here. Just lost in my thoughts. I have something to tell you too.”

“Yeah?”

I waited for my sister to again flip her blond hair over her shoulder and maybe even kick her feet onto a chair or table. And then she did it, and I laughed. I needed this connection.

“Remember that guy I told you about from the beach party at the cove this summer?” My stomach churned, and I wished I was in the same room with her. If anyone understood the gravity of what I was going to say, it would be her.

“Yeah. Super-hot. Model worthy. Perfect for our shop.”

That was what I’d told her, and it made me smile to hear it. I had gushed that Phoenix would be the perfect model for our fantasy board shop. I could see him, even now, holding a board with my design, wearing surfing shorts of Regan’s design. It had all felt sopossiblethen. Everything felt possible then, but nothing did anymore.

“I can’t wait for that.” Regan sighed. “I wish there was a way to get it started early.”

“Yeah, me too.” I agreed, but the dream of owning a board shop seemed further away than ever. “There’s a small bump in the road, though.”A baby-sized one.

“Hey”—a thud sounded on her end, probably her feet hitting the ground from whatever she’d propped them on—“you’re not bailing on me, are you? We’ve planned to open up a store together forever.”

“No, of course not. But something happened, and it’ll change things. I was thinking online store instead.”

“Oh, phew. You scared me.” Her wide grin returned.

“This’ll really scare you.” I burrowed into the crook of my elbow, hiding from her reaction and probably muffling the speaker. “I’m pregnant. The hot guy from the cove is the father.”

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