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My gut reaction was to say yes, of course, but something stopped me. This was only our first date, and I couldn’t help but wonder now what it was that had prevented me from asking her out in college. Aside from the fact that I was busy with studying and being obsessed with Belle. But I knew there had been something else. And that had me wanting to pump the brakes tonight.
Which meant I needed to come up with a way to say no. And fast. That wasn’t something I’d ever been good with and had never done in this particular scenario.
“I should get home tonight. I have an early training session tomorrow that I need to be rested for,” I said, and it wasn’t a lie at all. Still, it was a dick answer, and I knew it. “But I would love to go out again. Whenever you’re free?”
“Are you busy after your training session tomorrow?” She asked, seeming unfazed by my answer.
I mentally went over my plans for Saturday, realizing that I had none after the gym.
“Nope, I’m completely free afterwards.”
“Perfect. Let’s go hiking!” She had so much enthusiasm, and I couldn’t help but be affected by it, a grin taking over my face again.
“Got a trail in mind?” I asked, turning down the street that led to her apartment.
“I’ll let you choose.” She reached over, lacing a hand on my arm that was on the console.
When we finally pulled up to her apartment building, I helped her out of the car and walked her to the entrance.
“I really had a great time tonight.” I entwined our fingers for a second, still worried about her being upset that I’d turned her offer down.
“Me too, Landon. I’ll see you tomorrow,” She responded, stepping towards the door. I pulled it open for her, dropping her hand. “Oh, and tell Isabella that I said hi.” She grinned before stepping through, waving me goodbye.
Pushing the front door open, I could already feel the exhaustion taking over. I’d been up way too long today, having stayed out much later than I usually did. Monthly game nights were the only time I usually stayed up past eleven, since I almost always got up early to work out.
Before I even crossed the threshold, I decided that I wouldn’t be going to the gym tomorrow morning.
All of the lights were still on, which surprised me. I would have figured Belle would be fast asleep by now, but the faint sounds coming from the kitchen confirmed that she was indeed awake. Unless there was an intruder.
“Landon?” She called, hearing the front door close. So, not an intruder.
“Yeah, it’s me!” I called back, kicking my shoes off. Which I knew Belle hated and would most likely move later, but I was too tired to do it now.
Popping her head out of the kitchen, Belle’s wide eyes met mine. Her dark hair was pulled up into a messy bun, and she was wearing a beige lounge set—not pajamas, as she’d told me so many times. Whatever makeup she’d been wearing was washed off. Though this was a sight I’d seen hundreds of times, it wasn’t one I could ever get used to. She was flawless, no matter how much she insisted that her uneven skin tone made her look tired when she wasn’t wearing makeup, or how she felt uncomfortable when her hair wasn’t done. I didn’t see anything but beauty when I looked at her, and wished she understood that. Wished she could see herself through my eyes.
And that was precisely why I hadn’t been dating anyone. Because as long as this girl was in my life, it would be hard for me to forget how perfect she was.
“How was your date?” She asked, walking back into the kitchen as I followed her.
I don’t know why I’d always held out hope that one day, she would feel the same way about me that I did about her. Why I’d refused to date girls because I was praying that one day, Belle would be mine.
“It was great, actually,” I told her honestly. “The best date yet.”
I saw the way her face twitched, and knowing her as well as I did, I knew it was because my words had hurt her somehow.
Ah, because she had set up the other dates. And I’d just dissed them. Not knowing how to fix that fumble, I just continued.
“We get along really well, honestly. She listens and responds well, too. I took her to Sandbar, and we were there for way too long. Didn’t even get dessert either. I tried to get her to order some, but she wouldn’t,” I rambled, trying to gauge her reaction to my words.
“That’s great!” She responded enthusiastically, no hint of hurt feelings or anything other than happiness for me. It told me that she truly reciprocated none of the feelings I had for her.
It was frustrating, but there was nothing I could do about it. If we’d been this close for this long and she still didn’t have any feelings for me, she never would, and I had to stop waiting around for her. I had to stop acting like one day she would magically declare her love for me because it wasn’t going to happen.
“Do you remember why I never hung out with her in college? I feel like there was a reason, but can’t remember it at all.”
She stared at me, her face carefully blank. “Nope. No idea.”
13
