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"Okay, first of all, you don't get to tell me where I live or who I'm around. Especially when that person is my literal roommate." I turned in the seat to look at Zach to see if he was actually being serious, because there was no way he thought that he could actually control something like that in my life.
But alas, he was stone-faced and serious. "Belle, you need to find a way to move out. We can move your stuff into my place if we need to, because you aren't going to see Landon anymore," Zach said again, completely ignoring me. And I knew that was how this conversation would keep going.
Zach's grip on the wheel was white-knuckle tight. His eyes were locked on the road. "Turn around and take me home, Zach," I told him evenly, hoping that he would actually listen to me. "I'm not going to do that, Bella. You're coming home with me."
"I will be doing no such thing. I'm done with your controlling crap, Zach. We're done. Turn the car around, or pull over and let me out. Now." I was angry. So angry that I let it come out in my words and in the way I glared at Zach. He turned his eyes to me, and it was clear that he was infuriated.
"Be reasonable, Bella. You're just mad right now. Come over, spend the night, and in the morning, we'll talk about your living arrangements then. It's been a long night," he said, his voice suddenly soft and comforting. But I wasn't buying any of that.
"Pull the car over now!" I raised my voice, hoping to convey exactly how I felt about this. I'd rather walk home from wherever I was than be in this car one more second.
"You can't be serious, Bella—"
"Pull over!"
Huffing in annoyance, Zach slammed the brakes, sending me lurching forward, held back by only my seatbelt. He did that just to scare me, so I held back any expression on my face.
"Lose my phone number, Zach." I grabbed my purse and threw the door open, not caring how hard it swung on its hinges. Without even looking back, I slammed the door. Not a second later, Zach pulled away, his tires squealing and leaving me on the road in the middle of a place I was unfamiliar with, water kicking up and splashing all over me. Not that it would have mattered because it was raining anyway.
But still, I felt an immense amount of tension release from my body. The rain didn't even faze me. Thankfully, I wasn't just on some random back road. We were still in an area with sidewalks, so I just took the sidewalk back in the direction we came from, trying to get my phone GPS to give me directions home.
The second it pulled up on my phone, I groaned, seeing that it would take me over an hour to walk home. Still, I didn't regret the decision I'd made and would gladly walk every step of it if it meant that I didn't have to be in the car with Zach. He was officially out of my life, along with all of the terrible behavior he liked to give.
It left me alone with my thoughts from tonight. How Landon stepped in without hesitation, defending me against Zach. How he didn't miss a beat after Zach insulted me yet again before throwing a punch square to the face.
Now that the embarrassment of how it had all happened had faded and I was cooled down, I was actually considering crying all over again. Because Landon was the only man, it seemed, who ever cared about my well-being. Cared about treating me with dignity and respect and care. Every other guy I'd ever dated didn't care about me, even a fraction of how Landon did.
And though I knew it was crazy, I wondered if we would ever have a chance together. As more than just friends. Landon would never have to defend me from my boyfriend ever again if he was my boyfriend. Even our friends had pointed out before how perfect we would be as a couple, how well we got along. We already lived together, so we knew we could cohabitate well, which was a real concern for any relationship. We liked all of the same things, and we had the same values, and essentially the same life goals. Our friendship had lasted this long, and even though there was always the fear of a romantic relationship ruining our chances of being friends should something not work out, was that really a good reason not to be together?
I loved Landon, and maybe this was the first time that I could admit that it was something more than friendly affection that I felt for him. Scoffing at myself, I shook my head. Landon was in a committed relationship with Tiffany, and honestly, he seemed pretty happy. Who was to say that they wouldn't always be together? Who was to say that she wasn't his future wife?
I sure hoped not, but I couldn't make that decision for him, and if he was happy with her, I would never say anything otherwise.
Knowing all of this, I would have to stuff away the feelings that I had for Landon and let them fizzle away. But I knew that wouldn't happen.
26
Landon
IleftshortlyafterTiffany, apologizing profusely to my parents for everything that had happened tonight. Mom had just smiled at me warmly, telling me that she was proud of me for standing up for Belle, even if it did cause a scene at her party. I parted with a promise that I wouldn't repeat that scene at their next party.
I had noticed that Belle and Zach left a little bit before I did, so I waited an appropriate amount of time, hoping that I wouldn't run into him in my own driveway while he was dropping her off. The drive home felt so much longer than I expected. I just wanted to apologize to Belle for embarrassing her by drawing attention to the situation and beg her for forgiveness, which seemed like a common theme in our friendship lately. Apparently, I was on a streak for being a poor friend.
That line of thinking led me to wonder about what Tiffany had said to me. That I "obviously" had feelings for Belle. Was that true? Did I really behave like Belle was my entire world?
First of all, she was. I knew that without having to think about it too hard. She was everything to me, and had been for such a long time. She was not only my best friend, but she was my best. She was the one that kept me in line, that helped me grow, and the one that was there for me through anything. Belle was the sun that rose in the morning and the moon that rose at night, the light in my life. I would do anything for her, including but certainly not limited to throwing a punch at a jerk who thought for one second that she was worth less than the world.
The fact that those thoughts were in my head told me everything I needed to know. But I supposed I had never fully admitted those things to myself.
I picked up my phone, intent on calling Tiffany. It wasn't fair to her that I let this relationship draw out for a single second longer. Tiffany deserved someone who thought about her the way I thought about Belle. Guilt swam in my gut as I wondered if I had hurt Tiffany unknowingly with how I acted around Belle.
When I unlocked my phone to call Tiffany, I saw the message that she'd sent me.
Tiffany: This isn't going to work out between us anymore. I don't want to be around when you finally realize that you have feelings for Belle. I won't play second fiddle to her, ever. I'm sorry that I sent this in a text message, but honestly, you didn't deserve anything more.
I sent back a quick text, apologizing that I let this relationship go on for so long without realizing what I was doing. I wished her well and told her that if she wanted to continue being friends, she knew where to find me.
But I couldn't help the relief I felt. I wouldn't have to argue with her about being together, and I wouldn't have to try anymore to be someone that I wasn't for her. I had been forcing myself into a mold of the perfect man for Tiffany, when in reality, that wasn't me. I didn't like the things that she liked, we had no overlapping hobbies. But I had tried so hard to participate in whatever she asked of me, not realizing that that was no way to be in a relationship.
