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And I worried about Tiffany. During the whole encounter at the party, she just stood off to the side, looking annoyed and concerned all at once, her eyes darting between Landon and me the entire time.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Landon said, his voice barely above a whisper. I barely heard him over the soft music coming from the car’s radio.
I considered that, and knew the answer immediately. But where was I supposed to start?
“He wasn’t always like that. I obviously wouldn’t have given him a second date if he opened with the fact that he was a controlling jerk,” I laughed, looking over at Landon uncomfortably. Even with him, it was odd to talk about the fact that I’d let someone treat me poorly.
But that wasn’t how abuse worked. The victim never allowed the abuser to hurt them. It started slow in ways that could be brushed off and excused for some reason. And the more it happened, the worse it got.
So I told Landon about the slow fade of my relationship with Zach. How it started with him being a great gentleman, a great encourager, a perfect date. And then it slowly became something else. Something that I was attached to because I hadn’t realized early enough what was happening.
Landon listened the entire time, not a hint of judgment in his eyes or on his face. Anger, though, was present.
“I should turn this car around right now and go find him,” Landon growled, gripping the steering wheel tight.
I just laughed. “I don’t even know where he lives.”
“It’s a small enough area. I’m sure we could find him with that obnoxious sports car.” Landon gave me a sideways glance, a smirk on his face. I rested back into the seat, glad that I could talk about this with Landon now instead of holding it all in.
“I feel stupid for letting it go on as long as I did. That was why I forced him to pull the car over. I also knew he would never turn it around and actually take me home. That would hurt his ego too much,” I added, rolling my eyes at the absurdity that was my relationship with Zach.
“I’m glad you’re done with him. He could never be good enough for you,” He said seriously, giving me a look that had me blushing.
A silence that was nearly awkward passed between us. I didn’t know what to say. Because that look could only be interpreted in one way and I was trying to tell myself that I was still interpreting it wrong. That there was no way the look he gave me, coupled with his words and actions, could mean what I thought it meant.
“Tiffany and I broke up tonight, too,” Landon finally said. And the air was pulled straight out of my lungs.
“What? Why?” I tried to keep the hope out of my voice because there was no way…
“I think tonight was just the tip of the iceberg for her.” He loosened his grip on the wheel and pulled one hand off, resting his arm on the console between us. “She was furious that I stood up for you at the party and caused a scene. And before you say that’s ridiculous, I see why it made her mad.”
I let some time pass. “Why?”
“Because she knew that I wasn’t just defending you because you’re my friend. She’s seen it longer than I have, but I think today I finally realized that she was right.”
“Right about what?” I asked, my heart racing. Because as much as I wanted this to be about what I thought it was about, there was no way that it was. No way that Landon could be feeling the same way that I was.
For what felt like hours, the car was silent. Nothing but the radio played between us, and I was going to lose my mind over it.
“Right about how I feel… about you,” Landon finally answered, but the answer was still lacking. Still incomplete.
“And how is that?” My voice was shaky, and I was sure that if my arms weren’t wrapped around me and my hands grasping my body tightly, they would be trembling.
Landon took a deep breath, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I dared to get hopeful for the words that could come out of his mouth next. The words I needed and realized I’d needed for a long, long time.
“That I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you as a friend for so long, and at some point, that love turned into something else. Something more. But I was too dumb to realize that it had morphed into love. Love love.” He looked away from the road for the last part, making eye contact with me to prove the truth.
Tears sprung to my eyes, and suddenly I had nothing to say. All of the ways I’d realized the same thing about Landon were gone from my mind because all I could think about was how he’d just admitted his love for me.
“I’m sorry if that’s too much for us. Too much for our friendship. I guess I kept it pushed down for so long because I was afraid of ruining this beautiful friendship that we have, but I would rather tell you and make things weird than continue pining after you knowing that I was never man enough to tell you how I feel. I love you, Belle, and I think I always have. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize and admit it to you. And if you don’t feel the same way, that’s okay.”
I was still stunned into silence, completely shocked and jarred. Landon finally pulled the car into the driveway, remaining silent.
Hopefully, he wouldn’t interpret my silence as a rejection, because that wasn’t at all what it was.
He jumped out of the car, running around to grab my door and help me out. Together, we ran to the front porch and stood underneath the overhang.
Landon stood close to me but dropped my hand. I could see every emotion he was feeling on his face so clearly. Guilt, worry, anticipation, fear. But more than those, I saw the love he had for me.
