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I sip the last of my coffee and tell Jax, “I have a really important question. One topic we didn’t cover. Do you like dogs?”
“Digging deep, now. I thought you were going to ask me if I want kids.”
“Another very good question. Kids are a deal-breaker for me. As in, I want them.” I have dreamed of being a mother my whole life. I realize right now, if Jax and I aren’t on the same page with a timeline for when we would hypothetically want to start a family, that we might be over before we even start. But it’s better to know upfront, I guess. I’d rather not drag out a relationship and delay heartbreak, fall in love with him, and then have to end things because I’m ready to start a family and he’s not. I recall Jax telling me he broke up with Maxine because she didn’t want kids, so I think I’m safe.
“I can picture you being a great mom. How do you see that fitting into your career?” He takes a sip of his coffee, his lips forming the perfect O.
“I never thought it would impact my career. Things have changed a little. I definitely don’t see myself leaving a family to be a tour publicist, or anything like that. I want to be a hands-on parent, but also still maintain a career doing something I love. Luckily, I have a lot of areas I can explore.”
“What if your kids came on tour with you?” Jax is obviously asking me if I could see myself having kids with him. I have to give him credit. He clearly has intentions with me and right now this conversation seems larger than life, but he is ensuring that we are both clear on what we want so neither of us end up crying a river.
“If the father of my children were, oh, a popular musician who toured frequently, I think it would be fun to hit the road as a family and tour the world before the kids start school. I would just have to figure out what to do with the dogs.”
“I didn’t realize you have dogs,” Jax says.
“Not yet, but I want one.” I pick off pieces of my banana nut muffin and pray that Jax is not a cat guy. “That’s why I wanted to know if you like dogs. Another deal-breaker basically.”
“Bring on all the deal-breakers, because I swear, you’re not going to find one. I’m telling you, we are going to work. We already do. I love dogs. The bigger the better.”
“Me too.” Whoo! Jax is not Collin. Praise Cupid. Thank you for sending me someone who shares my love of dogs.
“I grew up with a chocolate lab, named Bear,” Jax tells me. “That dog was my best friend. Whenever I felt lonely or was upset because my mom was having a rough day, Bear knew. He would curl up next to me and just be there.”
My heart aches to think of Jax having a sad childhood. But thinking of him comforted by a dog just warms my heart to the point where it might burst.
“I had a golden retriever growing up. Sunny. I always snuck her on the beach at the lake to go swimming. My mom said the lake water wasn’t good for dogs, but Sunny loved to swim, so I couldn’t deny her that joy.”
“Cailin breaking the rules? I’m shocked.”
“So, you love dogs. And kids. I know you mentioned you wanted them before…”
His eyes light up, the brightest blue I’ve seen them. “I can’t wait to be a dad. Some of the guys in the band already have kids and I see how it’s changed their lives. Ridge is on his way there. Kelly is gonna be knocked up this year if things go her way. And I want that for myself too. Life is short. Like I said before, I lived a full life. I’ve traveled the world, experienced more than one person can dream. But the most important things are the simple ones. And I want to come home to my own family.”
“I feel the same way. I’m at the point in my life where I’ve had enough to know what I don’t want and I am just ready for what I deserve.”
“That’s why I feel like we hit it off so well. I can tell that about you. And in case you haven’t realized, when I know what I want, I go for it.”
“Oh, I totally realized.” I playfully push his chest and Jax gently catches my wrists to pull me towards his chest.
“Do you know what I want now?” he asks, as he locks our lips in a simmering kiss.
“I know I want to get out of here,” I say.
“You read my mind.”
We walk up to the register to pay, and the baristas stop playing it cool and finally ask for a photo with Jax. One of them hands me her cell phone. I note that this is the first of many times I will probably get asked to take a picture of Jax with his fans in public. I don’t mind that one bit because I see a part of myself in each of these girls. I’m just the lucky one who gets to live the dream. And I hope I never have to wake up.
Jax and I stroll on the sidewalk with our fingers weaved together. That’s when I realize that I have not even taken a photo with him yet. My teenage self is severely disappointed.
“Thank you for the perfect first date,” I tell Jax. “But I have a request for one more first. I want to remember this moment.” I reach to grab my phone out of my sling bag with my other arm and snap a photo of our hands melded together.
“Send that to me,” Jax says.
I text the photo to him and he takes out his phone. I watch as Jax saves the picture and then opens up his social media account. He posts the photo of our hands with the statement he gave me earlier.
“It’s official,” he says. “I just confirmed to the world that I have a girlfriend.”
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