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Alexandra:Living vicariously through you!
34
JAX SLATER CONFIRMS HE’S ‘UNAPOLOGETICALLY IN LOVE’ WITH HIS PUBLICIST
CAILIN
The next fewshows come and go in a beat. One of my favorite memories so far is the night I wore my yellow sundress and Jax walked off the stage, guitar in hand, and softly kissed my forehead. He stayed that way, with his arms around me, even though he had people waiting for his attention. He made sure I felt important. And I could not help the silly grin on my face as I soaked in the moment. Even thinking about it now makes me smile, as I rest in my favorite nook on the bus.
Thankfully, tour is moving along well. Jax and I spend an equal amount of time between the sheets as we do out exploring the sights. When he’s in soundcheck, Hayley and I have some girl time. We’ve been getting really close. She’s like my Gemma of the road, always there with advice, and I feel like I can tell her anything on my mind. Things seem to be getting better for her and Jayce too, after they had a big sit down.
I scroll my phone to catch up on social media. I’ve been making time to talk to the girls in my Trash the Dress support group, too. I’ve been getting close with a few of them. Recently, a member, Cora, had to flee an unhealthy situation, and a bunch of the girls chipped in to get her a hotel room for a few days. This is such an amazing community of women helping complete strangers on the internet. I’m really grateful to be a part of it. It makes me want to do more to help women. I’m not sure what, but it’s something I’m thinking about as a future goal.
Today is a big day. The cover story on Jax comes out. We’re going to go into town to pick up some copies, but I know it’s going to run online first. So I keep refreshing the browser on my laptop and checking my emails, hoping for a link from the reporter or an alert that it’s been published online.
“Finally! Jax, the story is posted online. Come see, hurry.”
I click on the link as Jax runs over. It’s the homepage feature. The headline reads “Jax Slater Confirms He’s ‘Unapologetically in Love’ with His Publicist.”There’s a photo of him from the shoot he did under the headline. I’m in awe. First, Jax is so handsome I can’t stop staring. On top of that, I landed this cover story. It’s my first big accomplishment as a music publicist, and it just so happens to be national news about my boyfriend.
“Oh my gosh.” This is really happening. I pinch myself.
“Scroll so we can see what the rest of the article says.” Jax is so adorable. I know he’s trying to play it cool, but he can’t fool me.
We read the article and are ultimately happy with the piece. They of course did some digging on my Instagram and published old photos of mine. And yes, the lipstick photo from the first night of tour is one of them. This is it. My face is everywhere. I should just turn off my phone now.
“There’s no going back.” My words are meant to tease him, but my eyes are telling him I’m in this for the long haul and I hope he is too.
“The only place I’m going with you is forward. And maybe to bed. Do we have time for…”
I cut him off. “No way. We are going out to buy this on the newsstand. Go grab your sunglasses.” I stand up, ready to bolt.
“As if that is going to hide my identity.” Jax rolls his eyes at me.
“Ok, we can send Harry.” I say.
“Let’s definitely send Harry,” Jax says. “I have other plans for us to celebrate.”
* * *
JAX
After Cailin and I had our own cover story celebration, we go into town. I know we sent Harry to get copies of the magazine, but I want to see them for myself on the newsstand, too. It makes it all real.
One part of me feels that the news might be so fresh that no one will bother us yet if we’re out in public together. That part of me, as I find out, was indeed wrong. Cailin and I walk down the street and I notice passersby stop to watch us and then whip out their cell phones to take photos of us.
“So, it begins,” I say.
“I’ll consider it practice for the paparazzi,” she tells me. Even though we’re both shielded behind our pairs of black sunglasses, I can tell her eyes are wide open and aware of everything. I hope it doesn’t start to make her uncomfortable.
Cailin must sense my worry because the next thing she asks me is, “How is your anxiety?”
I simply squeeze her hand three times. I originally started this secret handshake of sorts to tell her “I love you.” But it’s evolved into a secret language we’ve seemed to have developed for when we’re out in public. We let each other know that we got this, we’re here for each other, and that no matter where we are, it’s all about the two of us. My three squeezes let her know I’m fine. And this time, I believe it. I haven’t even needed to use affirmations in a while.
We get to the convenience store and head straight for the magazine aisle. There it is, my reflection looking back at me. The publication chose a cover photo of me taken backstage. They set up background and some lighting and at the time, I doubted how the photo was going to come out. But the closer I look at the photo, the more I approve.
The last time I was on a magazine cover, I was standing next to Maxine on a red carpet. Before that, I was with my bandmates. I’ve never had a solo feature on a cover. I don’t count the tabloids that blew up a photo of my face and ran a front cover blurb like “Is Jax Slater Addicted to Women?” This cover is me, raw and real. No makeup artist. No clothes chosen by a stylist. No fake smiles. I’m actually not even smiling. I look rather serious and that sets the tone for the story.
Cailin naturally snaps a photo of the magazine on the newsstand because she is now in publicist mode. She transitions between Cailin my girlfriend and Cailin my publicist rather easily. But I can tell when she’s in work mode and when she’s in play mode. I’m getting better at reading her cues. I know that as much as I want to take advantage of alone time on the bus with her, that she still has a job to do. And I think the space we give each other is appreciated on both ends.
