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Have I already made the same choice as Justine without realizing it?
The thought churns my stomach. I don’t want to sacrifice my identity for a man, but in the same breath, I wonder if perhaps that’s not entirely true. Maybe I’m simply evolving into a version of myself that had always been waiting to emerge, hidden beneath the surface until this chaotic world forced me to confront it.
I don’t have the answers, and for now, I choose not to dwell on the uncertainty. I’m confined to this compound, and I’ll make the most of it while I can.
“I’m heading down to the gym,” Justine announces, thankfully shifting away from the topic of our sex lives. “Care to join me?”
Considering my sleep-deprived state, I shake my head. “Count me in for tomorrow, though.”
Her eyebrows wiggle mischievously. “Too sore from all that action? Don’t worry, you’ll acclimate soon enough.”
I cough, seemingly choking on air, thanks to her lack of filter. “Right. Okay.”
She hugs me again. “You can’t fight this. I’ll break you down eventually.”
When I pull back, I don’t quite release her. “Being your friend requires no breaking down for me. I promise you that.”
Justine blows me a kiss as she makes her way back out the door. “Good, because I’m pretty fucking awesome.”
That she is, and it’s only because of her awesomeness that I’ve lasted this long staying here.
I try to go back to organizing the books once she’s gone, but I’m already bored of that and consider changing my mind and meeting Justine in the gym. Before I make my decision, I head toward the window by the table and push aside the curtains.
The sky is clear, and it’s then that I realize—thanks to my forced captivity—I haven’t been under the sun’s rays in weeks.What the fuck?No wonder my emotions have been all over the place. I’ve been getting the wrong kind of vitamin D.
Well, maybe not wrong, but…
I flip the lock on the window and, as I reach for the bottom to yank it up, a steel shutter races down from the top, nearly taking my hands off with its force.
“Mother fuck,” I growl into the empty room. Then, one by one, the other windows do the same thing. “Luca.”
I’m moving to my phone before it rings, and when I see his name on the screen, unsurprised that he’s already programmed in there, I answer with a snarl. “What the hell was that?”
“A security measure,” he answers hastily. “You’re okay?”
“No, I’m not fucking okay,” I snap. My hands tremble slightly, the adrenaline from the close call still coursing through my veins. “I almost just lost both of my hands. Don’t you think that’s something you should have warned me about?”
Luca’s admission comes with a tinge of remorse. “I didn’t when you first came to my room, but yes, I probably should have by now,” he concedes. “Also, don’t try to disengage the lock on the front door without the code. You’ll get electrocuted.”
My eyes widen, and if he were standing in front of me, my fist would be itching to connect with his face. Okay, maybe not literally, but the desire to do so is palpable.
“What were you trying to do?” he probes, likely sensing my rising ire.
I release a heavy sigh, trying to gather my thoughts and temper my emotions. “I was just trying to get some fresh air, maybe feel the sun on my skin,” I explain, my voice tinged with a touch of exasperation. “Do you realize I haven’t been outside except for that night at the club? And I’m not even counting that occurrence since the sun wasn’t out.”
“You never asked about going outside,” he states simply, devoid of accusation.
“You told me I couldn’t leave without the risk of being killed,” I counter, my frustration boiling over. “Having at least some sense of self-perseveration, why the hell would I ask?”
He’s quiet for a moment. “I was going to show you myself, but there’s a garden you can go visit while still remaining within the compound walls.”
It’s quite possible that I would choke him if he was standing in front of me at this point. “Where?”
“It’s on the second floor,” he explains, as if this isn’t a big deal when the only things I’ve been drawing have been flowers. Maybe telling me about the garden the moment I was allowed to leave the roommighthave been a good idea.
Fucking men.
After taking another deep breath, I ask, “And are there any other security measures I need to be aware of?”
