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Idon’t get to haveJackson.Andspending more time with him now that the contract is done is just begging to hurt myself even more.That’sjust stupid.Ialready let myself feel thingsInever should have.Andit’s my own fault now that my heart is broken.
Jacksonleaves a whole stack of hundred-dollar bills on the desk before he stands up. “I’msure they’ll reach out if they want more.Selena?”
“Yes?”
“Lastnight was worth every fucking penny.”
“Gladyou got your money’s worth.”WhenIsmile at him, my teeth feel sharp against my lips.
Jacksonbought and paid for my time.AndIthrew in my body and my love for free.
There’sa new distance between us as we drive back to the private airport.AndIknowI’mthe one who made that distance.Jacksonwould probably be happy having sex right up until he drops me off at my house and drives away for good.Wecould join the mile high club and have sex in the back of hisSuburbanfor old times’ sake.ButI’mnot built like that.
Lastnight was the last time.Lastnight wasgoodbye.
Ismile and nod wheneverJacksonsays anything on the short flight home.Idon’t snuggle up with him on the sofa likeIdid on the way here.Mycramps aren’t bad today.Andeven if my insides felt like they were in the industrial mixer at the bakery kitchen,Iwouldn’t let him hold me like that again.Itwould only confuse things.AndI’malready confused enough.
“Areyou going to talk to me about what’s going on in that head over there?”Jacksonfinally asks, breaking the silence between us.
Ismile at him, butIhave tears in my eyes thatI’msure he can see. “Trustme, you don’t want to know.”
“IthinkIdo.”
“Fine.I’msad.”
“Idon’t get why you’re choosing to sit over there and be sad all by yourself when you could be over here with me doing something a hell of a lot more fun.”
“Idon’t want to have sex with you.”
“Whynot?Youdid last night.”
“Becausethe contract is over.It’stime for us to go our separate ways.”
“Thefucking contract again.Youwant to go our separate ways?”
“That’swhat we agreed to.Thesex doesn’t change anything.”
Doesit?Doesit?
Allhe has to do is tell meI’mcrazy.Tellme the sex changed everything.Tellme he never wants to let me go.Tellme he loves me.
Hefrowns at me. “Right…IguessI’lljust read some scripts over here, then.”
“Foryour superhero movie?”
“No, some other stuffI’mlooking at doing.”
“Areyou going to have time for other stuff?”
“Yeah,Ithink so.”
Helooks like maybe he wants to say something else.Buthe doesn’t.
Hedoesn’t say anything else for the rest of the flight or the drive back to my place.Thenit’s time for goodbye.
“Well,IguessI’llsee you around.Ornot.Whatever.”
“Whyare you being like this, baby?”
