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“Whatare you talking about?Youknewthat you’d have to pay mefive million dollarsif you slept with me?Andyoustillslept with me?”

Jacksongrins at me and runs his tongue over his lips. “Wortheveryfucking penny.”

Whatthe hell is wrong with this man?He’sclearly deranged.Idon’t know whether to feel flattered or offended.Thinkingit over as much as my overloaded brain is capable of right now,Ichoose offended.Becauseoffended hurts less.Offendedmeans angry.Andangry feels a hell of a lot better than hurting.

“Idon’t want five million dollars.Idon’t want a million dollars.Idon’t want anything from you,”Ispit at him.

Iwish that were true.Iwould give anything to not want anything from him.BecauseI’mhere wanting the one thing he isn’t willing to give me.Hisheart.Andeverything else he has to give.Hissmile.Theway he looks at me like he can’t get enough.Iwant all of him.Everysingle part.ButIcan’t pretend anymore.

“Wantit or don’t, it’s yours, all the same.Youcan take it and run as far as you can get away from me.”Hegives me a half-smile. “ButIhope you don’t.”

“I’mnot running anywhere.Youcan run away from me if you don’t want to see me.You’rethe one showing up on my damn doorstep after telling the entire world that you love me and proposing to me on nationalTV.”

“Baby,I’malways going to show up on your doorstep.Thecontract is how it started.Howit ends is you and me sitting on the porch swing at the farm surrounded by our dozen grandkids.It’sgray hair and decades of me loving you every single day more thanIdid the last.”

Hedoesn’t mean it.Helooks sincere, like he means every single word.Buthe’s an actor.Ican’t trust his face, andIknowIcan’t trust his words.

“Whyare you here?What’sthe point?Evenif there was something real here, andI’mnot sayingIbelieve there is.You’regoing to be inAustraliafor the next decade.You’regoing to be fuckingElishaBelland skinny women from fancy bathrooms.AndI’mgoing to be here.”

“Whatthe hell amIdoing with women in fancy bathrooms?”Jacksonshakes his head. “Doesn’tmatter.I’mnot going toAustralia.AndI’mnot fucking anybody but you, baby.”

“Whatdo you mean?”

“Ionly want to fuck you,Selena.”

“No, not that.Whatdo you mean aboutAustralia?”

“Iturned down the role, baby.I’mgoing to be wherever you are for the next decade, and all the decades after that.”

“Youshouldn’t have done that.Maybeyou can still fix it?Goback and tell them you made a mistake.”

“Ididn’t make a mistake.Ihave everythingIwant right here in this room.”

“Youdon’t love me.”

chaptereighty-five

jackson

Thehurt in her eyes is breaking my heart. “Whothe hell are you to tell meIdon’t love you?MaybeIdidn’t get any of this right.You’vemet my dad.Mybrothers.We’renot exactly great at expressing our emotions.Butbaby,I’venever loved anything or anyone more thanIlove you.”

Whydidn’tIfigure out thatAustraliaand the superhero franchise were the wrong move sooner?Idon’t want to spend the next decade inAustralia.Ican’t askSelenato come with me.Itwouldn’t be fair.Itwouldn’t be right.So, that leaves me inAustraliafor most of the next decade by myself, and that’s not happening.Myfamily needs me home inWesternSprings.AndIneedSelena.

“Youdon’t love me.”

“Whynot?”

“Becauseyou can’t.”

“Look,Selena.IknowIdon’t have the best track record here.ButI’mnot some broken thing incapable of love.Iloveyou.”

“Inever said you were incapable of love.Ijust said that you don’t loveme.”

“Thisis crazy.”

“Don’tcall me crazy!”Ishout at him, waving my wineglass wildly in his direction like a crazy woman.

“Ididn’t say you were crazy.Butyou’re sure as hell acting crazy right now.”

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