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“Holdup,Val.Woah, woah, woah.Inever said that.Inever said anything like that.Noteven close.”
“Youimplied that you were dating her.Datingequals fucking, kid.Thisis the twenty-first century.”
“Thisis wild.Ithought things were looking good for the franchise?Idon’t need to do this.”MotioningforValto walk ahead of me, we head for the kitchen because we’re both going to need a lot of coffee for this conversation.Mykitchen is all sleek white cabinets, stainless steel, and concrete.Andit doesn’t see a lot of cooking.Coffeeis one of the few thingsIknow how to make.
“Itis looking good.Alangives me daily updates, whetherIwant them or not.”Valhas a love-hate relationship with my manager,Alan.Mostlyhate on her part.
“Doeshe know about your little plan?”
“Hedoesn’t get a say.Alanhandles the business.Ihandle the image.Butyes, he knows.”
“Andwhat does he think about it?”
“Hethinks it’s a good idea.Hethinks this could get some nice, positive press for you.Andthat it would help firm you up as the right pick for the franchise.”
Shit,AlanandValnever agree on anything, so if they both agree on this, it’s hard to say no.Evenif that’s whatIknowIneed to do.
“Idon’t think this is necessary.It’sall going to blow over.”
“It’snot going to blow over.Weall want this role for you,Jacks.Thisis the big one.Afteryou’re a superhero in the biggest franchise ever, you won’t have to keep hustling anymore.You’llbe able to coast on this one for years—decades even—and get whatever else you want to do made.”
“Iwant it.YouknowIdo.Butpretending to date this girl seems wrong.Ibarely know her, but she seemed like a decent person.Agood person.Idon’t want to take advantage of her or anything.”
“She’llbe in on it!You’renot doing anything to her she doesn’t agree to.She’llknow it’s fake.You’llknow it’s fake.It’sjust the rest of the world who will get to believe in love for a while.”
“It’splaying games.Idon’t play games.I’mnot interested.”
“Comeon,Jacks.Youcan’t just let this go.Thiskind of free publicity doesn’t come around every day.Orevery month.Orevery year.I’vebeen a publicist for twenty-five long years.So, trust me on that.”
“Youcan’t be serious,Val.”
“I’mdead serious.Theinternet is already loving this.Ithasn’t even been twenty-four hours, and they’re already loving the idea of you falling head over heels for a normie.It’sromantic.Youmeet by chance in an elevator and then you fall in love.Itmakes people think it could happen to them, too.”
“Don’tcall her that.Whatthe hell is anormieanyways?”
“Anormie is a normal person.Anon-celebrity.It’snot an insult, kid.Justa statement of fact.She’sa normie.Andyou’re one of the biggest movie stars in the world.”
“She’sgoing to hate me for doing this to her.She’snever going to agree to this.”
“Don’tsell yourself short.Youcan be charming when you want to be.”
“Aweshucks, and hereIthought you were immune to my charms.”
“Idon’t think anyone’s entirely immune to your charms.That’swhy you’re the seventh highest grossing box office star of all time.Iknew from that first nightImet you when you were wandering aroundL.A. like a lost puppy trying to get a job.”
“Andyou’ve been in love with me ever since…”Itell her with a grin.
“You’vebeen in love withyouever since.Ijust work here.”Valsmiles her cagiest smile. “Ican’t make you do anything.It’syour decision.ButIwas right aboutRaven’sRavine.AndI’mright about this.”
“Val…”
“Justthink about it.Whydon’t you go see her?Seeif you could put up with her for two months.Andmore importantly, whether she could put up with you.”
“AndhereIthoughtIwas a delight to be around?”
“Whenyou want to be, kid.Onlywhen you want to be.Gotto go.I’mhaving my vagina steamed at ten-thirty.”
“Ofcourse, you are.Aren’tthere limits on whatIshould have to hear about your vagina?Professionallyspeaking?”
