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“Same.Afew girlfriends.Nonereally that serious.Brokeup with the last one six months ago.Itreally wasn’t serious.”
“Gotit.”
“Backto what you said at the house about this not all being my fault.Whichparts aren’t my fault?”
“Theelevator stopping.Andthe fact thatIcouldn’t find a bathroom beforeIgot onto the elevator.”
“Ah, so pretty much it’s all my fault?”
“Yes, exactly.”Inod. “Butthe money from this… situation is going to help me buy a bakery.Areal bakery.Notjust more space for wholesale production.Areal brick-and-mortar bakery where customers can come in and get their morning coffee.Aplace where people will come in every day and orderthe usual, andI’llknow what that is.BecauseI’llget them their usual every morning.”Myface is covered in a massive smile just thinking about all my plans for the future.Plansthat are now possible, thanks toJackson. “AndsinceI’mgetting whatIwant,I’mgoing to give you what you want.Thebest fake girlfriend in the entire world.Prepareyourself for anOscar-worthy performance.”
Jacksonshifts his weight from side to side and shrugs his shoulders a few times. “Considerme prepared.AndIgot all of that just for offering a lady my water bottle in her time of need.Bestdeal of my life.HowdidIget so fucking lucky?”
“Ifyou keep bringing up the-incident-that-shall-not-be-named,Imight have to murder you in your sleep,Nugget.”
“Sorry,Iforgot how sensitive you are about that.Whogives a shit?Everybodypees.”
“IfI’mnot allowed to talk about this being fake, even in private, then you can’t talk about the-incident-that-shall-not-be-named.Themore comfortable you are talking about it in private, the more likely you are to talk about it in public.Oh, wait.Youalready told the entire country about it!”
“Andthey thought it was as charming asIdid,”Jacksonsays with a laugh.
“Peeingin a water bottle in front of the guy from the poster on your bedroom wall when you were sixteen isnotcharming.It’sthe dictionary definition of whatever word is the opposite of charming!”
“Holdup?Whatposter?”Jacksonasks, his eyes narrowing. “Shit, are you a closetRaven-head?DoIneed to call security?Wasthis whole thing a set-up from the beginning?”
Iflooks could actually wither,Jacksonwould be a shriveled up, rotten old tomato stem. “Shutup.”
“Holyshit.That’snot a no.”He’sstaring at me with wide eyes, like he’s seeing me for the first time.
“Okay, soIwatchedRaven’sRavine, just like everyone else in high school.It’sno big deal.”
“Ican’t comment on that.Iwas in my twenties for the entire run of that show,”Jacksonsays with a grin. “Butto be clear about this, exactly how big of a fan are you?Arewe talking about attending a fewRaven-Consor a full on back-tattoo of my abs?SinceI’myour boyfriend,Ishould probably know if you have my chest tattooed on you somewhere, glistening in the moonlight.”
“Youwould love that, wouldn’t you?Pathetic#elevatorgirl turns out to be a secret stalker fan,”Imutter under my breath, hands in fists on the edge of the seat, ready to claw my way through his black leather seats at any moment.
“So, just a fewRaven-Consthen?”
“Inever went to a singleRaven-Con,”Iinsist.
Henarrows his eyes at me. “Butdid you want to go?”
Reachingout,Islap my hand against his big arm. “Ofcourse,Idid!Mymom wouldn’t let me go.”
Jacksonlets out a laugh that can only be described as a guffaw.
“Ihate you.”
“Soundslike you don’t hate me at all.Soundslike you’re just a little obsessed with me.”
“Trustme,I’mnot!”
“Sorry, can’t trust you on this one.Theposter speaks for itself.So, how far down the rabbit-hole did this obsession go?Haveyou planned our wedding?Whatare our kids’ names?Iassume our first-born is going to beRaven, obviously.”
“Shutup!Ihate you so much right now.”
“Exceptthat you don’t.Noteven a little.Youloveme,”Jacksonmocks me. “Youwant tomarryme.”
“Ohmy god, shut up!Iwasn’t into you at all.Iwanted to marryJonasVerKnauff.”
