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I’vebeen too busy for the last fifteen years.Toobusy for my family?Whata fucking asshole.Iwasn’t here at the end when mom died, and damn it ifI’mnot going to be here when my dad needs me.
Therich brown soil is hard beneath my feet.Thehay is just about ready to be cut and baled for the first time this season.Evenwith my brothers around, taking care of this place is too much for dad.He’snever going to let them fully take over because he still thinks he can do everything himself.Heused to be able to.Heran this place all by himself for years when we were kids.Ihonestly don’t know how he did it, even if the farm was a lot smaller back then.Thefour of us weren’t much help in the beginning.Andthen just whenIwas grown and could have really helped him,Ileft.Ishould get back here more often.Iknow that.Butwith my schedule, it just never seems to fit in.AndifI’mthe next box office superhero, andIwant to try my hand at directing, none of that’s going to change anytime soon.
Angercourses through me, and every stepItake feels likeI’mpunching the dirt ground beneath my feet.Thisplace has always felt like the only homeI’veever had.ButIwas always desperate to leave it.Now,I’mdesperate to come back, butIdon’t want to give up my life inL.A., either.I’veput in too much work to give it all up now.
Runningusually gives me clarity.Setsmy priorities straight for the day.Nosuch luck today.Bythe timeI’veput in five miles and looped my way through the fields back to the front porch, my mind is just as muddy as it was whenIleft.Idon’t know how to help my dad and be here for him when my life is inL.A.IknowIneed to keep my hands off ofSelena.AndIknow that if she gives me even the slightest hint that she’d be into it,I’dbe on top of her so fast her head would spin.
“Morning.”
“Morning.”Itcomes out more of a grunt than a word, asIstand on the front porch glaring down atSelenafor looking pretty enough to eat.She’ssitting on the porch swing in a short sundress with little puffy sleeves that barely go past her shoulders and a deepV-neck showing off more inches of her big tits thanIdeserve to see.Thisone has flowers on it, lilies,Ithink.Shehas a steaming mug of what smells like tea in her hands, and she’s peering up at me over the top of it.
Ithink maybe her eyes are scanning my naked chest.ButI’mso fucking horny, maybeI’mjust imagining it?
“Didyou… have a good run?”Sheasks.Doesher voice sound tight?Maybeeven a little hoarse?I’ma man looking for a sign, andIcan’t trust that my mind isn’t just seeing and hearing what it wants.
“Yeah, pretty good.Didyou sleep okay?”
“Yes,Islept good.Prettygood.It’salways hard to sleep in a new place, butOatskept me company.”
“Yeah, don’t thinkIdidn’t notice that,”Imutter in the traitor’s general direction.
Selenasmiles up at me. “So, what’s the plan for today?”
“Stillfiguring that out.Idefinitely need a shower.Thenmaybe we can head into town for breakfast and then go see my dad?Visitinghours start at ten.”
“Soundsgood.”
“Ifthere’s anything you want to do while you’re here, just let me know.I’msure sitting at the hospital with a family that’s not yours isn’t exactly a great time.”
“Icame here to be here for you.Notto have some big, fun trip.So, whatever you need,I’mhere.”
WhateverIneed?WhatIneed is to toss her over the kitchen table and shove my face between her thighs.Butthat’s not on the agenda this morning.Orever.
“I’mall ready to go.Butsince it looks like you need a shower,IthinkI’llpoke around the kitchen again and finalize my grocery list.IthoughtIcould stock up for when your dad’s back home, too.”
“Thatwould be great.He’snot much of a cook.Moreof a can opener and dump it into the microwave kind of guy.”
“Gotit.I’llget him some stuff that’s easy to heat up, but not totally full of salt and fake dyes.Ilove a challenge in the kitchen!”Shesounds entirely too full of sunshine for the moodI’min this morning.Iwant to bend her over the porch swing and spank her for being so happy whenI’mso miserable from wanting her.Nothappening, pervert.
“Thankyou.IknowIkeep saying it, but it’s becauseImean it.Thankyou for coming here with me.”
“AndIkeep saying that you’re welcome becauseImean it!”
“I’mgoing to hit the shower.I’llbe ready in fifteen.”
“Soundsgood.OatsandIwill be right here.Fairwarning, you’re probably going to need to pry me off of this porch swing when it’s time to leave.”
“Youhave a thing for porch swings, huh?”
“Abig thing.Huge.I’vealways wanted one.”
“Well, feel free to have your way with it while we’re here.Idon’t get back home too often.”Haveher way with it?Whatthe hell amIeven saying?Although, the rhythm of the swing if we were…No.Nope.Iwill not think of all the waysIwant to fuckSelenain and around my parent’s home.Iwill not.
Hereyes widen, and then her eyebrows draw together. “Goget in the shower!”
chaptertwenty-five
jackson
