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“I wasn’t,” I admitted. “Addy got me a membership as a gift for Christmas, but I just haven’t been able to make it until now.” I folded my arms. “What are you doing here? Did your brothers kick you out of Covington?”
Benny’s two older brothers were Dex and Ace Covington—Ace as in my sister’s husband, Ace. Their private security firm had a state-of-the-art gym inside it.
“No, but this is closer to home, and with the newborn right now, I get about forty-five minutes before I’m back on duty so Cammie can sleep.”
Benny’s wife, Cambria, did a lot of work with Blooms, including offering one-on-one self-defense training using Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. However, she’d been out of commission for the last six months because she was pregnant with her and Benny’s second boy.
What if Kenzie had a son? What would he look like? Would he have her eyes?
There’d been nothing in her file or application that mentioned a kid—not that we explicitly asked. We needed to know certain personal information to accept applicants into the Blooms program, whether or not the applicant had a child wasn’t one of them. We asked for medical histories and records pertaining to their history of abuse or assault. In Kenzie’s case, she provided hospital records showing she was admitted for fentanyl addiction and overdose several times over the last five years.
“Sounds like fun,” I murmured, fighting to stay focused on the conversation when all I wanted to think about was how I’d missed it.
And why she hid it.
“Exhausting.” He laughed. “But worth it. Just wait until you have kids.”
I tensed but managed to swing a smile. “I don’t know that kids are in my cards, but we’ll see.”
I was asked about settling down with a wife and kids often enough that the comments more or less rolled off my shoulders, and the twist of regret in my stomach was small enough to ignore.
“You know you can ask for help, right?”
My head cocked. “Help with what?”
“Everything.” Benny sighed. “You don’t have to be the silent superhero behind the scenes forever. There are plenty of people who’d happily and whole-heartedly step into an organization like Blooms and take some responsibilities off your shoulders.”
But would they do it as well as I did? Would they care as much as I did?
Every time I interviewed an applicant, it was like I was walking up to that burning car again, my sister trapped inside. Of course, there was no fire, but the way I felt was still as though it were life or death. Every day I worked the way I did because these women’s lives depended on it. And every day, it still felt like it wasn’t enough. There were still more women who needed help—more survivors who needed safety and shelter.
And how was it fair for me to try and find someone—to try and find love like my sister—when my life was dedicated to other women?
“Just look at my brothers. Some of the most controlling men I know,” Benny added, dragging me from my thoughts. I let out a low chuckle, recalling the day Ace had tossed my sister over his shoulder and carted her from the Blooms house for her own protection. “Ace didn’t grow the team because he needed a bigger business. He didn’t even grow it because it was the only way for him to have more time with Addy. He grew the team because the guys he brought on needed it.”
My eyebrows lifted. I’d never thought of it like that. I’d always assumed that with Covington’s reputation, Ace had needed more men to meet the demands of a growing client list and his reduced availability because of his family with my sister.
“Think about it. Roman needed something after his sister died. Reed needed a change of pace from being a cop. Rorik was becoming just as dead inside as the people who ended up on his autopsy table. And after Kane barely survived his undercover op with the DEA, he was a dead man walking until Ace brought him on.”
I reached up and rubbed the back of my neck. Maybe Benny was right. But ten-thirty at night when I needed to exercise out the painful level of lust building in my system wasn’t the time to consider his claim.
“Something to think about.” I grunted.
“I’m sure even women within the program would be interested,” he went on. “I know how important it’s been for Cammie to be involved and give support. I’m sure there are other women in the house who feel the same way.”
Cammie had been a victim of sexual assault. It was the reason she’d taken self-defense classes and met Benny in the process, and now, it was the reason she was dedicated to teaching those classes herself.
“I mean, just look at Kenzie. She’s around town all afternoon cleaning places. Roasters. The bakery. And then comes here to clean. She clearly is determined to work, and from what I hear, really dedicated to Blooms.”
Everything he’d said after the part about how Kenzie was here droned out.
“Kenzie was here?”
“Yeah, she was finishing up when I got here.” Benny paused and added, “Actually, she was already done, but those guys over there were talking to her, so they kept her here for a few extra minutes.”
My eyes traveled through the room, now needing to be aware of every single person in it.Especially the ones who’d talked to her.
All part-time jobs had to be approved by either Addy or me, and since this addition to Kenzie’s cleaning schedule was news to me, it had to be my sister who’d signed off.
