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She could be lying, but I doubted it. Kenzie might hide some of her truths, but she never lied about them.
“He was deprecating and condescending. Insulting. Controlling. But he never hit me or Jake… that wasn’t how he liked to control me. Ironically, I think he believes physical abuse to be a weak man’s weapon.” She let out a bitter laugh. “No, he controlled me by taking care of everything. Providing everything. Letting me be a stay-at-home mom. Which, on the surface, makes him sound like such a great guy… but that was the whole point; he did all these things, so how could I go against anything he asked of me? Anything he wanted?”
“He trapped you,” I said, clamping my teeth tight as her gaze lowered.
“It’s hard to argue you’re living in a prison when it comes with a white picket fence and your guard is a handsome, hardworking hero.”
“Why didn’t you leave?” The pressure around my chest increased, slowing each breath. “Do you still love him?”
“No,” she blurted out, almost frantic in her attempt to deny it. “No, I don’t love him. I haven’t loved him for a long time, if I ever really did at all.” She began to absentmindedly peel the label off the water bottle. “I didn’t leave because I couldn’t.”
“Jake…”
She nodded. “Stan was a good dad—is a good dad, I guess.”
“So good he kept his son from his favorite summer camp?” I asked and then regretted my harsh words.Who the hell was I to say shit like that?I never made rash comments or personal judgments, especially about someone else’s life. I was a lawyer, not a judge or jury. But damn if I hadn’t passed my own sentence on Stan Klinger the second we’d met. “Sorry,” I mumbled and reached up to rub the back of my neck.
“No.” Kenzie shifted on the stool, her fingers balling the label of the bottle. “You’re right. He’s…”
“Horrible?” That was the nicest word I could come up with.
“Worse,” she replied, the word laden with so many things she could say but didn’t, and that made me even angrier. A strand of hair fell forward, and my fingers itched to brush it back from her face. “But if I admit he’s horrible, then I’m admitting that I left my son with a horrible man.”
“Kenz…” God, she was so damn good. Too good to be feeling this kind of guilt.
“I was going to leave,” Kenzie said carefully, her fingers crinkling the paper even more vigorously now. “I told Stan I wanted to leave—to separate. He said if I left him, I’d never see Jake again.”
Fucking prick.
“California is an equal rights state, you would’ve both had custody…” Something wasn’t adding up.
Her eyes glazed over with tears, and instantly, the pieces connected.
“He knew about the drugs,” I muttered. I didn’t want nor need her to rehash her medical history. I knew she’d become addicted to opioids after she’d sprained her ankle five years ago. That she’d been hospitalized five times in three years for drug-related problems, including the last time when she’d overdosed in an attempt to end her life.
“Yeah.” She blinked quickly, a tear landing on my countertop. A second later, her thumb swiped it away. “That was two days before I ended up in the hospital.”
I’d never rationalize someone using drugs. I would, however, be critical of the piece of shit who knew the mother of his kid had a problem—who was a goddamn EMT, for crying out loud—and had used her addiction against her instead of getting her help.
“Kenzie…” I forced myself to swallow, debating whether or not to ask, but we were already here—the conversation barreling like a snowball down the side of a mountain. “Why did Jake say that Stan saved you?”
Red bloomed in her cheeks, and something flickered in her eyes that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
“Stan was… on duty the night I overdosed,” she confessed softly. “He was the one who administered the Narcan and saved my life.”
I sucked in a breath, conflicting emotions twisting in my gut.He’d saved her life.There was nothing I liked about the guy, not a single goddamn sliver, but this… this was the only reason that prevented me from hating him.
In the corner of my eye, I caught her hand move over the counter. More tears.
“What is it?” I asked, my voice growing coarse. I moved around the barrier I’d placed between us—another mistake to add to my list—and notched my fingers under her chin. “What’s wrong?”
There were more tears shining in her eyes. Too many to blink back, so they started to stream down her cheeks.
She tried to turn away, and maybe I should’ve let her, but goddamn it, just because she could withstand the storm didn’t mean I didn’t want to shelter her from the rain.
“Tell me,” I murmured, brushing a tear away with my thumb. “Please.”
We were too close. I was too close to this. All the lines were blurring.
