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And sex… well, what I wanted wasn’t the priority in those moments. Sometimes, he’d give me an orgasm and then spend days reminding me how generous he was, but it wasn’t common, and never with his mouth.
God, I’d never felt a tongue on my clit but even if I had—even if I did again—I knew it wouldn’t be like Zeke’s. The man’s mouth had spoken its own language to my body, and my body had replied with a kind of pleasure I’d never known before.
“Thank you,” I murmured.
Really, there was only one thing I wanted to talk to him about today, and it was one of the reasons why I’d worked into the midnight hours the past few nights trying to get everything else organized and done.The other reason was because if I went to bed any earlier, I’d be tossing and turning, fitful with the memory of our night together.
“I think you pretty much blew through everything we needed to meet about today—”
“I wanted to talk to you about custody,” I blurted out, locking my hands in my lap.
“Of Jake.”
I nodded.
I watched regret darken his gaze. “The judge is going to need to proof that you’re clean and went through rehab treatment—”
“Of course. That won’t be a problem,” I interrupted him even though it wasn’t necessary; he was simply telling me the requirements I needed to meet. But the instinct to protest was just that… instinct.
I’d long ago buried the rage I harbored toward Stan. I’d never get better or see Jake again if I held onto it. Still, the fervor sometimes flared, especially when Stan looked at me with that smug smile like I was still under his control.
In some ways, I was. Forever scarred by what he’d done to me. But because those scars were invisible—twisted like an invisible noose around my neck, I had to play the game by his rules.Bastard.But I’d do it. I’d play any game at any deficit if it meant getting my son back.
Slow and steady.
One day, I’d win the race. One day, I’d be free of the cloud he dangled over me. But until then, I had to keep playing. Keep fighting.
“They’ll also want to see steady income and stable housing.”
“I know,” I said, my throat thickening. “I have some savings. I should be able to get an apartment in the next two months. I just need to know what you think my chances are then…”
“Kenzie…”
“I want your honesty, Zeke,” I insisted, folding my arms and telling him flatly, “You don’t need to sugarcoat the truth just because we slept together.”
His mouth snapped shut, and his jaw flexed. “Honestly,it depends on the judge,” he said with a frown. “If you had a longer track record of those things… something concrete to show that Jake’s life would be safe and stable, then I could say it would be an easy case. But since it’s been less than a year since you’ve been out of the hospital, onlyafew months since you’ve been working, and you’re saying you want to apply as soon as you get your own place…”
“It’s unlikely they’ll give it to me.” Pain bloomed in my chest.
“You have about a fifty-fifty chance,” he said. “Most of the judges around here and in the city know of Blooms, so our reputation will help, but it’s not a guarantee. If Stan was on board with it though, that could—”
“He won’t be.”Not a chance.
“He agreed to the supervised visitation.”
“Only to prove he could still control me,” I said without thinking, anger bubbling to the surface. “You heard Jake… Stan thinks I’m still going to come back after this. He’s that delusional.”
Zeke frowned. “Kenzie, look at me.” I shivered at his tone; the husky demand made my knees weak. “He doesn’t control you. Not anymore.”
My chest tightened. Both because of how fervently this man fought for me but also because he had no idea of the truth—no idea what I’d gone through with Stan. What I’d barely survived.
And that was equal reason for why I couldn’t have more than one night with Zeke. The lengths he’d go to protect me were the ones that could undo everything I’d fought so hard for.
“I know,” I said thickly and nodded, fighting back tears. “If you think it’s a better bet to wait, then I’ll wait.”
“It doesn’t hurt to try, Kenz,” Zeke said. “I just want to make sure you’re prepared for both outcomes.”
“I know.” My chin dipped. “Thank you. I appreciate you being honest with me.”
