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Just breathe.
I knew I could trust Callie. I knew I could trust almost everyone I’d met since leaving the city and coming to Carmel, but for some reason, when it came to this moment, I struggled.
When it came to sharing just a tiny bit of the only important thing in my life, I struggled.
For seven months after I’d left the hospital, I’d done everything I was told. I’d completed the mandatory one-month outpatient recovery program for addiction. Then, I’d applied to Blooms to continue my path…and to get away from my past.At Blooms, I’d done everything that was recommended. Every meeting. Every counseling session. Every workshop.And all of it had built to this—the next step. But it was one I couldn’t take on my own, and that thought made my stomach turn, knowing the fate of my future—the fate of the only thing I cared about in my life, rested on someone else.
I took a deep breath, feeling my hand sweat around the handle of my bag, and said,“I was wondering if you could direct me on where to find information on custody laws in California.”
Callie was an open book, so there was no mistaking the way her eyes widened.
No one in Carmel knew about Jake, and until I was ready to do this, no one could. It was too risky. If Stan found out… I swallowed over the lump in my throat. I couldn’t think about that. About him.
After a moment, Callie collected herself and answered, “California is an equal rights state, so the custody is always evenly split unless there’s a reason for it not to be.”
“She’s a danger to herself and to him. I think that’s been made abundantly clear.”
I squeezed my eyes shut for an instant, forcing myself not to cry as Stan’s words ripped the scab off my open wound. “Yeah.” My head bobbed. “I’m… aware of that.”
“Here, let me check here…” She brushed past me out of the room, and I followed her to the end of the hall, through another door, and stopped short.
We were in a second office.Zeke’s office.
The sparse, spacious room looked nothing like the cramped space he occupied at Blooms. The desk here was larger—space for a computer and for papers. There were bookcases lining two of the walls, their shelves mostly empty, and on the back wall, between the two windows that faced the small backyard, hung his framed diploma from law school.
This office was so much nicer than the one at the house—so why wasn’t he working here?
I looked for Callie, finding her hovering over a box on the floor filled with law books that had yet to be unpacked.
“That’s what I thought…” She shook her head and sighed. Straightening, she faced me again. “Most of Zeke’s stuff is still in his office at Blooms because he refuses to take any time to get himself in order…” She trailed off, realizing she was getting off track. “I think all of his custody rulings are still on the shelves at the house.”
“Oh, okay.”
“I can look up some things online for you. Rules. Court cases. Procedures for custody filing and appeal…”
She wanted more of an explanation, but all I could manage was, “Thank you. I’d really appreciate that.” My fingers clutched the strap of my bag like my life depended on it.
“Of course.” Callie walked over and reached for my arm. “I’m happy to help, and this is the kind of thing I love to do.” She smiled. “I have to detour over to Blooms on my way home to drop some stuff off for Zeke anyway, so I can grab the books for you, then if you’ll be there…”
She trailed off, taking stock of the scrubs I had on and my massive cleaning bag.
I grimaced. “I’m actually on my way to clean Roasters and after that, I picked up another cleaning job at the Iron Works gym.”
“Oh, I’ve driven by that a few times!” she exclaimed. “Is it nice there? Reed seems to think it is.”
I nodded. “Really nice. It’s twenty-four-seven access, so the owner said business is booming. Anyway, he wants me to clean it in the evening when there’s less of a crowd.”And I am going to have to bust my butt to make sure I am back to the house by curfew, but I couldn’t turn down the job.I needed the money. I needed to build my life back up as quickly as possible. “Anyway, you’ll probably be gone by the time I get back…”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll just stack them on his desk for you to grab.” She waved away my concern. “And then once I have my online research compiled, I’ll put it on a flash drive for you. It should only take me a few days—a week tops.”
“That would be perfect.”My exhale rushed out with a whoosh.
She didn’t respond right away, and that was how I knew there was another question coming—one I was going to struggle to answer.
“I’m sorry, I just have to ask, Kenz… is there a reason you aren’t going to Zeke about this?” she asked softly, her eyes searching mine.
Aside from what happened in his office a week ago? Or aside from the fact that I’d crushed on the man who worked tirelessly behind the scenes at Blooms like he was its own guardian angel?
It was wholly unexpected—the attraction I felt from the moment we met at my interview—and I immediately ignored it for a million and one reasons, not the least of which was that my life was a disaster, my future on the line, and all of it… in his hands.
