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But since I wasn’t here for them, I straightened my shoulders and narrowed my sights on Brute. He was sitting at the bar, his back mostly to me, with Holly in the seat next to him.At least she isn’t on him.
There was none of that overly honeyed seduction radiating from her today, though. She was talking animatedly and holding out a piece of paper.
Abruptly, Brute turned around on the bar stool, and his gaze met mine. It was like he had eyes in the back of his head, but since I’d inspected every delectable inch of that man’s body, it seemed unlikely.
He didn’t look pissed; that was probably a good sign.
He stood up as I crossed the clubhouse floor, ignoring the way the blonde was moaning loudly around Dynamite’s dick… because why was she moaning? Unless she had pleasure receptors in the back of her throat, her erogenous zones were getting precisely zero stimulation at the moment. The poor girl had probably watched too much porn.
That was a problem for another day, though. For the time being…
“Do you have a minute?” I asked as I stopped in front of Brute.
“Sure, darling,” he said, then turned back to Holly. “That’s good news, kiddo. Best of luck to you.”
She smiled. It was one of those bright-eyed, excited smiles. She was my age, but the cute smile made her look about sixteen years old.
God, I didn’t look like that, did I? But then again, I doubt Holly had seen half the shit I’d seen.
She turned the smile on me. “I’m going to college,” she said, a little breathlessly as she held out an acceptance letter to a community college.
Choosing to better herself rather than hanging off the men here and hoping they’d take care of her?
“That’s excellent,amica.”I threw an arm around her in a one-armed hug.
“Thanks,” she said, then leaned in closer. “He’s totally into you,” she whispered against my ear. It was such a teenager thing to say, and yet, her silly words sent a thrill straight down my spine.
“Grazie,” I whispered back, then let her go and followed Brute back across the floor.
Dynamite had his eyes closed now, and I couldn’t help amusing myself by wondering if he’d notice if we replaced the blonde with a Hoover. Apparently, Holly’s teenage aura was catching.
The moment we stepped into the office, though, all thoughts of redheads and vacuums fled. I waited for Brute to close the door—just to be sure he did—then I jumped right in. No time like the present, right?
“I wasn’t deliberately trying to piss you off earlier, Brute, and I don’t actually want to hurt you. But this is what I am. I’m always going to be the person who does shit other people would call crazy, and I can’t even apologize for it because I’m not sorry.” I paused long enough to take a breath. “If you’re not okay with that, I don’t think I can be whatever it is you want me to be.”
He smiled. An understanding smile? Sympathetic? I was having a hard time reading it at the moment.
“You’re right,” he said, nodding once.
Right? As much as I liked being right—because, who doesn’t?—this wasn’t one of the times when the feeling was at all satisfying.
“No one—including me—should be asking you to change, darling. And I’m not.”
Hm, could it be Raven had been right about him needing a minute to get past his worry? This required further investigation. “You’re saying youwantto be with a woman who runs off and does crazy shit all the time?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head.
Damn.And even worse, I couldn’t keep my face from falling; I could feel the disappointment written all over it. And something more, something sharper, much more painful than “disappointment” could be.
He smiled and grabbed my hand, tugging me toward him. “I have no interest in being with just any woman who wants those things—I never have. But I wouldn’t want you any other way than the way you are right now. Crazy shit and all.”
The sharp feeling faded, but it wasn’t gone. He could just be spouting platitudes, couldn’t he? I supposed there was one way to find out.
“I have to do this, Brute. I have to take down Domínguez, even if doing it is dangerous.”
He was silent, staring at me.
A strange feeling crept up my spine and wound around my chest. All of a sudden, it felt like something incredibly important hung in the balance.
