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He nods, smiling. “I’m glad you’re coming back.”
As he turns to walk back to Austin, I reach out to touch him. “Hey, Matthew?”
He cants his head.
“Did you know that the Minnesota Wild have retired two numbers in their history?”
His eyes light up as he grins at me, nodding. “Number nine for Mikko Koivu.”
“And number ten for Marian Gaborik,” I finish for him.
He looks so fucking happy that I learned a factoid about his team as he disappears into the living room.
Turning back to the front door, Thor stands patiently waiting, smiling. His hair’s pulled into a tight bun, his face is ashen, and his eyes have dark circles underneath them. His shoulders curl forward. He looks as good as I feel.
Not good at all.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I’m running at him. It might be ten feet to the door, but I’m running all the same—and I never run. It’s not a good look for me.
He barely manages to open his arms before I launch myself into them, and for the longest moment in the history of the world, we just stand there, holding each other, as tears stream down my face.
A million things fight to come from my brain out my mouth, but nothing makes it past the wad of relief at the back of my throat that he’s standing here in front of me. He showed up for me even when I panicked and ran away. He didn’t hide, or leave, or knee-jerk break up with me, he’s here.
“I wasn’t sure whether I should come or give you space.” His grip on me tightens, his voice thick with tears of his own, and damn if my ovaries don’t fucking implode knowing that my giant, strong, dominant as fuck boyfriend is crying because he hurt me.
“I shouldn’t have stayed here last night. I should have come back to talk it out. I just wasn’t sure what I needed.”
He shushes me, stroking my back, kissing my hair, and telling me he’s sorry. When we both settle down enough to stop crying, I take a step back and look up at my guy. He sweeps a couple tear soaked curls off my face. “It’s okay to not know what you need, kitten. We’ll figure it out together.”
My heart swells, threatening to break open my ribcage. “We will?”
He nods, almost looking convinced, but his eyes betray an insecurity that crushes me. “If that’s what you want, we absolutely will. If you need time apart, I understand that too. I damaged our trust, that’s on me. If you think it can’t be fixed, then it can’t be. And that’s okay too.” His voice breaks, tears welling in his eyes as they search my face.
I’m not sure what he’s looking for, a decision, anger, some sign that I’m relenting one way or the other, maybe even confirmation that I think there's something worth saving. But his eyes burn intensely as they hold my stare.
“I’d like to try to fix things, Thor.”
The relief that floods his features seeps into his muscles, his body sags. “You do?”
Nodding, I bite my bottom lip. “Can we go back to basics? Start over? Lay some stronger foundations so the next time this happens we’re better prepared for it?”
“Absolutely. I’d love to say this will never happen again, but we both know there’s always room for mistakes. We’re going to do all we can to make sure it doesn’t happen again though, okay?”
I believe him, but actions speak louder than words. We both need to want it to work, we both need to make an effort, and we both need to ensure we do all we can to avoid this happening again. I nod, slipping my hand into Thor’s and tugging him toward Kenzie and Austin’s kitchen. “They made French toast.”
CHAPTER27
Thor
Watchingmy girl with her friends this morning was everything my heart never knew it needed. Austin nods at me as he hands me an empty plate and gestures at the stacks of French toast piled high next to plates of bacon and turkey bacon.
Addison is relaxed, smiling, and before she puts a single piece of food onto her plate, she darts into the next room to check on Matty and give him another quick hug. The way he hugs her back warms me all the way to my toes.
Pangs of fear shoot into my chest. The seed of concern about his mom coming back into our lives to take him away from me takes root. I should probably consult a lawyer to make sure she can’t just appear at my door and take him away as quickly as she arrived and dropped him off.
It has only been a matter of months, but I’ve come to love Matty with everything I have, and now I don’t want to lose him. One of the biggest things I think I’ve been afraid of since he arrived at my doorstep was that I wasn’t going to be able to make him feel better. As a dominant, I take such pride in being able to help submissives find their calm, to nurture and take care of them, even if it’s just a one night stand.
The fear that I wasn’t going to be able to help him settle, help him grow, be as good as his mom was to him for the first eleven years of his life has been quietly consuming me from the inside, and I had no idea.
