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“You mean because my knuckleheaded son will have let an amazing woman slip through his hands? Sure, it would be awkward. But I’m sure I’d find a way to keep loving him all the same.”
Thor rolls his eyes, but I can’t stop the laughter that bursts out of me.
“Mom...”
“As you can see, my son spends around eighty percent of his time despairing at his mother. It’s a thing. He mostly spends his days groaning ‘mom’ at me. On repeat. It’s not at all annoying.” She grabs his cheek and squeezes. “You’ll be glad I’m back. Just wait and see.” She pats where her hand gripped his cheek. “It’s going to be a lot of fun.”
“I don’t think that word means what you think it means.”
“Nonsense.” She claps her hands. “Okay. Let’s drive by my soon-to-be new home before we eat. I want to make sure it’s close enough so I can drive you kids up the walls.”
Thor looks at me like he’s waiting for me to save him from spending time with his eager mom, but I’m a billion percent here for this. It makes me kinda wish my mom would bug the shit out of me like Ella does.
She winks at me, throwing me a casual smile so warm I feel it all the way to the pit of my stomach. It feels pretty good to feel a part of something, to have people around me who believe in me. Maybe I can achieve my dreams after all.
I just have to shake off that fear and take the first step.
CHAPTER29
Addison
I’d be lyingif I said the Addison that’s walking through these doors is the same Addison who walked into Protocol a few weeks ago. Or the Addison who walked in a couple months ago.
I’ve changed. Something inside me is different. In many ways I feel more vulnerable, more exposed and unsure, and in others I feel stronger, more sure of myself, more confident. It’s a weird space to navigate but I’m trying to give this new Addison space to grow and breathe without clipping her wings.
Not working for Thor anymore, but still living in his space, as his girlfriend, hasn’t been as uncomfortable as I expected. And having Ella in the house for the past week has been helpful for all of us. She’s been bitch-slapping my self-confidence left, right, and center. It makes me wonder what kind of things I’d have accomplished if I’d had her in my corner my whole life, which stings.
All I’ve gotten from my own family is a chip on my shoulder, an unhealthy dose of self-loathing, and insecurities.
Thor’s mom has been in my life a week, and I’m already questioning every foundation my family laid. So much so that I called my old therapist and set up an appointment. If I’m going to encourage this new Addison to transform and spread her phoenix wings, I’m going to need support, boundaries, and positive reinforcement.
Tonight isn’t about any of that, though, tonight is about showing my guy that while it hasn’t been all that long since our mishap in the basement, I still love and trust him.
And I do.
The past couple weeks have been everything I needed them to be. He’s been attentive, patient, and most of all he’s tried hard to forgive himself. The first few days were rough as hell, watching him drag himself over hot coals for making a mistake hurt my heart. But he’s getting there, each day I see another sliver of guilt melt away and his confidence is returning, a little brick at a time.
We’ve colored together, we’ve cooked together, we’ve even exercised together. Our routine has become one of my very favorite things about us. While there’s a lot we do independently, we do a lot together, too. Getting to know this man, even passively through things like watching him mow the lawn, play video games with Matthew, and interact with the neighbors on his street is a pleasure.
But I’m ready. It’s been too long since I’ve had him the way we both need to have each other. A healthy dose of nervousness is okay, but the crippling anxiety I felt at the thought of him slapping me a couple weeks ago is almost entirely dissipated.
Paige comes stomping toward us with a scowl on her face. She’s wearing knee-high pleather platform boots, black fishnet tights under white fishnet tights, and a collar. I haven’t seen her wear a collar in a long time.
She’s wearing a black, cap-shouldered dress closed across the chest only by two leather buckles so you can see the swell of her epic tits. The dress flares out at the waist with a skinny leather belt with chains hanging from it and comes almost to her knees.
Completing the outfit she has fingerless wrist-length gloves, black lipstick, and her jet-black hair falls loose in long beach waves.
She usually wears the punk look well, but tonight she is smoking hot and her attitude radiates from her person. Dunno what her deal is, but I gotta admit, I’m half tempted to kneel at her feet to see what she’d do.
“You look fierce.” She gestures the wristbands in her hand to my thigh-length pleather dress. I only bought it because I liked the crisscross strings across the front, the largely backless reverse where only a handful of leather straps cross my shoulders and back, and of course the fact it has easy access.
She nods approvingly at my shoes. These heels might break my ankles, but they look hot as fuck with this dress, so I’ll endure whatever blisters they throw at me. They’ll be worth it.
“Thank you. You too. Are you doing a demo?”
She shakes her head.
“Waging war?” The only thing missing is black stripes across her cheeks. She’s geared up and ready to destroy someone, I just can’t figure out who. Maybe she finally gave in to her base instincts and fucked Slade.
