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Marge sighed. “Alice. For the love of Pete. We’re your friends. Just talk to us.”
A small lump formed in my throat as I looked between the three sets of concerned eyes staring at me. And it wasrealconcern—a look I was unfamiliar with before the Wilder Widows had come into my life. Before, the vapid housewives I’d called “friends” would only want to know such details to have ammo to talk about me behind my back. None of them truly cared about how I was feeling.
But then I reminded myself my Wilder Widows weren’t those women from my past. They were my friends. My trusted, beloved friends. We’d been through hell together and come out stronger on the other side.
After several long moments of enduring their probing stares, I admitted, “I ... I don’t know ... how.”
Doris pinched her brow. “What do you mean you don’t know how? We’re your best friends.”
I breathed out my hesitation on a long exhale. “Well, I’d never had those before. For most of my life, the only “friends” I had were other trophy wives, and the only thing we talked about was where to get the best massages and mani-pedis.”
Sylvie softly shook her head and sighed. “Well then, it’s time to start learning how to be open with your friends. We’re here to support you. To help you. We love you, Alice, and we want you to be happy. Just tell us how you’re feeling, and we’ll help you figure out what to do. That’s what girlfriends are for.”
Marge responded with uncharacteristic sympathy. “Yeah. I know I give you a lot of shit, but that’s just how I am. We’re always here for you. So, tell us what’s going on and whose ass I need to kick.” She jutted her chin at Jessica Rabbit. “Because even if that skin of hers is because she’s some immortal vampire, I’ll still kick her ass for you. I can bust apart this chair and make a wooden stake, no problemo. Just say the word.”
“I’m in too. We can take down an immortal for you.” Sylvie flexed a muscle. “We’ve got your back, Alice.”
“There’s holy water in the chapel on the ship. I’ve been going to mass. I know where it is. I can get some of that.” Doris smiled, and I smiled back.
Even though we were just joking about Jessica Rabbit being some mythical vampire, I knew that the heart of their comments meant they truly had my back when they said they did. Why had I been so incapable of opening up to them? These were my widows. My best friends. And then I realized the true problem.
I had no idea what to tell them.
I looked at Alejandro, and those butterflies took flight. Then I looked at Jessica Rabbit and the snakes of rage gobbled them up and coiled tighter in my belly. “I want to tell you, girls. I do. But I don’t know how I’m feeling. That’s the whole damn problem!”
Sylvie placed her napkin beside her empty plate and leaned forward. “Okay then, let’s help you through this. How do you feel when you see him?”
Like a million butterflies take flight in my stomach.
But instead of embarrassing myself with those cheesy but accurate words, I answered with a shrug. “Excited, I guess.”
“Liar.” Sylvie rolled her eyes. “If you want to have real girlfriend talk where weactuallyhelp you, then you need to be honest. I saw your eyes light up when you saw him. That was better than ‘Excited, I guess.’ So, tell us. How do you feel with him?”
For a moment, I held my breath, trying to trap the embarrassing truth in my chest, but finally, I blew out a slow breath and let it free. “Like my whole world tips upside down. Like all the air has been sucked out of the room, and I can’t breathe. Like I ...”
Sylvie arched an eyebrow. “Like you’re in love.”
“Is ... that what it’s like? Love? I’ve never felt this way before. I honestly don’t know what it is.”
They all smiled softly, then Marge answered, “Yes. You have basically just described exactly what it feels like to be in love. When I see Roxie, it’s like the whole damn world stands still. I get the butterflies. The air gets sucked out. The fluttering heart. Yeah. I’m not too proud to admit I get it all. And that, my friend, is love.”
Doris made the sign of the cross. “Praise you, Lord Jesus Christ. You have helped bring Alice into the light.”
“Well, let’s not go that far.” Marge chuckled. “I mean, I don’t think getting the dirty dirty on with her handsome Spanish lover is exactly getting her a ticket straight to the big place.”
I bit my lip and felt the heat flush my cheeks.
“What was that about?” Sylvie pointed at me, her probing gaze needling out the truth.
“I, uh ...” I paused, horrified to admit the truth. “I haven’t slept with him yet.”
Their gasps were so loud they pulled the attention of the tables surrounding us.
“Praise you, Lord Jesus Christ again!” Doris pressed her hands together.
Sylvie and Marge just blinked back at me.
“What? Okay. Yes. We haven’t done it yet. Lots of kissing and making out, but we haven’t gone all the way. I’ve just been enjoying his company so much. We laugh, we talk, we hold hands. That kind of stuff. Just no sex yet. It’s no big deal.”
