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Just admitting that lightened the load on my shoulders.
“Wow. I’m so sorry, Sylvie.” Marge frowned. “That’s really sad you aren’t as excited about your wedding as you should be. And you really have no idea why?”
“Nope.” I clucked my cheek. “I have been over every nook and cranny of that man, and he’s perfect. Absolutely perfect. The only thing I’ve been thinking is it’s the guilt about moving on so fast from Bruce. Like I’m punishing myself for running back to the man I coveted all those years I was with him.”
Marge blew out a puff of air in disdain. “Well, if that’s the case, then you need to just forgive yourself right now and move on. There’s no sense in denying yourself the man you truly love over some silly penance you think you owe. You don’t. You love Tom. Tom loves you. End of story.”
“If you love him, and he loves you, then it’s as simple as that.” Doris smacked her hands together, then paused to stare at them like they were some wondrous find. “Wow. Fingers. Aren’t they a little strange?”
We all glanced at our hands for a moment, marveling at the phalanges we never paid much attention to.
“Yeah. Fingers are weird.” Marge wiggled hers in front of her face.
We all did the same, then finally, I shook my head and snapped out of it. “I wish it were that simple, but there’s something holding me back. I just hope I can figure it out before the wedding.”
“We’re here to talk if you need us,” Alice said. “We want you to get your happily ever after.”
“And I want you to get yours too,” I said, turning my attention to her. “And we really thought you had found it with Alejandro. Are you ready to talk about what happened?”
Alice’s face darkened with sadness, but she didn’t answer.
“You ever going to tell us what happened, Alice? I’m worried about you.” Doris reached over and patted her leg.
“Me too,” I agreed. “Whenever you’re ready to share, we’re here for you. And if Alejandro did something to you, you know we’ll hunt him down and punish him.”
Alice let out a long sigh. “Fine. I’ll tell you. But first, I need another hit of that joint.”
Marge scrambled to get it out, handing it to her quickly. Alice lit it up again, took a big puff then passed it back around. We all took another hit, but Marge passed.
“I’m on watch tonight. Gotta keep my wits about me.”
She put the joint back in the case, then we all turned to Alice again.
“Alright. Spill,” Marge demanded. “What did he do?”
Alice closed her eyes, holding her breath for a moment before finally speaking. “He didn’t do anything. He was perfect.Tooperfect, in fact.”
“How was he too perfect?” I scrunched my brow. “Don’t you demand perfection in everything? I would think that would make him, well, perfect for you.”
Alice stared into the flickering flames for a while, then finally spoke. “I have something to admit to you ladies that only my doctor and a few people at the DMV know.”
We all leaned forward expectantly.
With a deep sigh, she whispered. “I’m older than you all. I’m ... seventy-six.”
“You’re what?” My mouth unhinged.
Marge scratched her head. “Did you just say you’re seventy-six, or is that the pot talking? You’ve never told us your age, however I always thought you were in your early sixties but trying to pretend you were in your forties.”
Alice kept her eyes down. “You heard me right. I’m seventy-six.”
“Wow!” Doris clasped her hands on her head. “I can’t believe you’re older than me! But you look so much younger. And the way you dance! How is that possible? How can you be seventy-six and still kick your legs up that high?”
“That’s the problem.” Alice looked up. “I can’t anymore. Well, I can, but not without great pains. Everything hurts. All the time. In fact, even though I’m so grateful I was able to live out my dream as a showgirl, I don’t want to do it anymore. My body can’t handle the nightly shows.”
“Oh, Alice! I had no idea,” Marge reached over. “I see your shows all the time. Why didn’t you tell me how much pain you’re in?”
“Because I don’t want to admit what being in pain means. It means ... I’m old. Spent. Washed up. It means my best years are now behind me. It means that I’m too old to be with a young, handsome man like Alejandro. I can’t keep up the façade for more than a night. It’s one thing to catch the attention of a young, handsome man, but that’s with all the bells and whistles that take hours to put on. The truth is, in the morning light, without the makeup, fancy hair, and everything plucked and pulled, as he’ll see, and you’ll see in the morning after spending a night with me in the jungle, is that beneath it all, I’m a monster. None of this is real.” She waved a hand over her face. “And that truly sunk in when I woke up with Alejandro the other day. He went to bed with a goddess and awoke to a monster. It’s a lie. Everything about me is a lie, and there’s no way I can keep up these pretenses forever and hide the truth from Alejandro.”
