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“Should we join Pansyass in the sauna?” Marge arched an eyebrow. “Maybe bring my fish in there and really freak her out?”
I chuckled at the thought of Marge dropping a dead fish at Alice’s feet, then when I imagined her explosive reaction, I shook my head. “She’ll kill you.”
Marge quirked a mischievous grin. “I’ll just run into the woods. She swore she’d never go in them again, so I’ll be safely out of range. I’ll meet you ladies at the sauna.”
“Marge! You’d better not!” I called after her, but she only waved over her shoulder and kept walking.
“Oh, Lord. We’d better untack and get there fast,” Doris said.
I nodded in agreement, and we hurried to finish untacking our horses and get them tucked into their warm stalls before the blizzard hit.
After a short jog to our domes to get our suits, Doris and I met outside wearing the huge, warm robes and fuzzy boots they’d supplied us with. We went to check for Alice in her dome, but when no one answered, we assumed she was still in the sauna. Bundling our robes around us tight against the cold and with the snowflakes picking up in intensity, we hustled the short distance to the sauna around the corner. I swore the temperature dropped ten degrees during the short sprint.
“Brr!” I shivered as I quickened my steps. We were just about to reach the sauna when we heard an ear-piercing shriek followed by Marge’s howling laughter. The door to the sauna flew open and Marge launched out, her dead fish clutched tight in her hand as she sprinted off through the snow laughing.
“Totally worth it!” she called as she ran.
“Disgusting!” Alice shouted when she appeared in the doorway, only a white towel wrapped around her upper body. “I’ll filet you like that fish if you bring it anywhere near me again, you monster!”
Marge kept laughing as she ducked behind a woodpile. Her little head popped up and she peered back, grinning. “You gotta catch me first!”
Alice clenched a fist and pointed it toward Marge, but one look at the snow and trees separating them, and she took a big step back into the warmth of the sauna. “Later! I’ll kill you later!”
“Okay, okay.” I lifted my hands and looked between them. “Let’s call a truce so we can all warm up. Marge, go give that fish to Olavi to smoke, and Alice, go back inside and pretend that didn’t just happen.”
She gave Marge one last glare then spun around and stomped back into the sauna. Doris and I followed her inside, and when the warm air hit me, I stopped, opened my arms and said, “Ahhh. Heaven.”
“Oh, this feels nice!” Doris trotted over to sit beside Alice on the wooden seats stacking up the wall like stairs.
“Yes, this is what I’m talking about,” Alice said, leaning back and tightening her towel around her chest. “This is my kind of trip.”
“How long have you been in here?”
“About twenty minutes,” she answered.
Doris pointed to the sign on the wall. “Uh oh. I don’t think you’re supposed to stay in much longer. That’s what the warning sign says.”
I looked at the sign with the lengthy list of rules, stopping when I got to the fourth one. “It also says not to use under the influence of alcohol, and I bet she broke that rule too, didn’t she?”
Alice just grinned. “I’m fine. If I feel woozy and pass out, just shove me in a snowbank for a minute, then pull me back in.”
“Deal.” I rested my head back on the step behind me and inhaled the warm, humid air while Alice and Doris did the same.
Ten minutes later, the door swung open, and the whoosh of cold air was a sharp contrast on my skin, though not entirely unpleasant.
Marge hurried in, her robe and hat covered in snow she shook off on the floor. “I’m back. Damn. It’s cold out there. Snow really started coming down a few minutes ago.”
“And the fish? I assume that’s not here too?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.
“No fish this time. I swear.” She lifted her hands to show they were empty then hurried in to join us. “Olavi is smoking it now.”
Alice didn’t look up at her from her pose on the steps. “If you ever stick a fish in my face again, I swear to God I’ll break your neck with my bare hands.”
“But you won’t kill me, at least.” Marge smiled wide. “That’s sweet.”
“The death part was insinuation,” Alice rebuffed.
Marge shrugged. “People survive broken necks. Maybe you’d just turn me into a quadriplegic. Then I’d be alive but just unable to move. Not ideal, but I could get a helper monkey, so that’s kinda cool.”
