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“Get away from her! Go! Shoo!” one of the Widows screamed before they all dropped to their knees and surrounded me where I lay rolling on the ground, clutching my stomach.
“Marge!” Alice’s face appeared over mine first. “Are you okay?”
I tried to answer, but all that came out was deep gasps that sounded like a groaning, dying animal.
“It knocked the wind out of her. Breathe, Marge! Breathe!” Sylvie grabbed my hand and held it as I tried to do the simple task of breathing.
And failed.
Seconds felt like hours while I lay there moaning and choking in the little bits of air my spasming diaphragm would allow.
“Is she dying? She’s dying!” Doris whimpered above me, tears pouring down her face. “Don’t leave us, Marge! We love you!”
“Come on you, Sally! Breathe! Now!” Alice commanded.
Like a valve suddenly turned on inside me, a whoosh of air filled my depleted lungs, and I gasped with a sharp breath. Then another. And another. Finally, the air flooded through me once again.
“Thank you, God!” Doris pressed her hands together and prayed over my pulverized body.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Alice sat back on her heels, shaking her head as she stared down at me, her eyes rolling repeatedly. “You dumbass.”
“Are you okay?” Sylvie asked, squeezing my hand tighter.
After taking a few more even breaths, I struggled back to sitting. Sylvie rubbed my back, and as I got upright, I saw the kangaroo that’d walloped me grazing calmly across the field.
“Marge? Are you okay?” Sylvie asked again.
I leaned my weight back onto my hands and looked at the kangaroo a little longer, then finally, knowing I had enough air to speak, I looked at the faces of my concerned friends.
“That. Was. Awesome!” I grinned widely. “I touched it! I touched a wild kangaroo! Told you I’m a Disney princess!”
They sat silently for a moment, then Alice let out a long huff. “You arenota Disney princess. I’ve never seen a Disney movie where the wild animals beat the shit out of the princess. That kangaroo straight-up pummeled you.”
I shrugged. “Yeah. Butbeforethat, we were one. We were connected. Our souls united. It was awesome.”
“Well, what’s not gonna be awesome is that black eye you’re already starting to rock.” Sylvie arched an eyebrow and pointed at my eye.
I touched it, wincing when my fingers brushed the already swelling skin. “Oh, yeah. That’s gonna be a shiner for sure.”
“This is why you aren’t supposed to interact with the wild animals,” Doris scolded. “They’ve told us multiple times not to, and you did it anyway. Now look what happened.”
“Totally worth it.” I rolled onto my knees, pressing my hands to my thighs to help myself up. The kangaroo saw me stand and stopped eating, giving me one last glance before hopping away. “One hundred percent worth it. I touched a wild kangaroo. A story I can tell over and over again.”
“No,” Alice said as she clasped a hand on my back. “You got your ass kicked by a kangaroo.That’sthe story I’ll be telling.”
“Fair enough. But still a cool story.” I waggled my eyebrows at her but winced at the pain from the movement. “Ouch.”
“Good. Serves you right for being such a dumbass.” Alice gave me a gentle shove toward the Jeep, and I chuckled as I moved along with them.
Sylvie stepped beside me. “Get in the car, Marge. And no more touching wild animals on this trip. Got it?”
“Yeah, yeah. I won’t. Once was enough for me.”
I looked over my shoulder at the fading silhouette of the kangaroo.
“Goodbye, my friend,” I whispered, pausing to wave at him.
“He’s not your friend, Marge. He straight-up tried to kill you.” Alice shook her head.
