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I hate that I fell for the charm I tried so hard to deny existed, I hate that I kissed him last night, and I hate that I licked his cum off the floor.
Honestly, that’s disgusting.
I feel repulsive, and now I have to come to terms with the fact that feeling this way has also left me incredibly horny.
At least he’s not here to watch me touch myself while I savor the taste of him that’s left in my mouth. I doubt he’s actually telling anyone at the bar what we just did. He’s just trying to get me worked up, and I’m not going to let him hold this over my head.
He’s just as guilty as I am. What kind of man does that to a woman he barely knows?
Moreover, what kind of woman enjoys it?
I’m sitting on the edge of the bed Nikolai once occupied, doing the same thing that he was doing with my back turned to the door. He could come in and see me, and part of me wants him to, but I doubt he’s going to have the time to go to the bar and come back before I finish.
When I’m this turned on, it doesn’t take long to find that sweet spot and finish myself off quickly. The pleasure bubbles up like a bottle of champagne, and the cork pops like it’s been vigorously shaken.
I’m able to forget about Nikolai for just a split second, a few pulsating moments in heaven before I’m cast back down to earth to experience the shame of what I’ve done.
I pull up my panties once I finish and adjust my dress. As expected, it didn’t take long, probably the quickest session I’ve had, and there’s no sign of Nikolai. I feel like we should be bonding over what happened, but he probably felt just as weird about it as I did, and that’s why he left almost immediately afterward.
That could be the end of things. Perhaps we took it too far already, and neither of us dares make another move.
Or it could be the beginning, and if it is, I dread to think what kinds of feelings I’m going to have for him once this trip is finished and Eddy is back home.
I contemplate my feelings for Nikolai, dissecting each emotion, each tingle in my stomach, in the most clinical way I can manage. I get the urge to call someone to confide in, a friend or someone I trust, but I have nobody.
I think Eddy would call me crazy, falling for a Russian mafia boss twice my age.
Well, Eddy, you’re not here to talk sense into me, so I’m going to go ahead and allow myself to be senseless.
I look at the floor, at the smudge my lips left on the surface of the wood, and I feel a buzz in my belly again. I shouldn’t have enjoyed doing that. Nikolai is an awful man. There’s absolutely no reason for me to relish submitting to him like that.
I mean, aside from the fact that he’s drop-dead gorgeous.
Just as I’m about to justify myself with some philosophical nonsense about how attraction isn’t logical, I hear a loud bang from outside.
A gunshot. There’s nothing else it could be, and with Nikolai having left just minutes ago, I have to assume it has something to do with him.
Of course, it does. That idiot can’t go one minute without causing some sort of trouble. Whether it’s making me look like an overly sexed moron, or literally shooting people outside, Nikolai has a special talent for creating mayhem.
I jump off the bed and make my way toward the door. My hand hovers over the doorknob, hesitating. What if Nikolai is out there? What if he’s the one who’s been shot? Or what if he’s the one who pulled the trigger? Both ideas are terrifying considering that he’s the only person who can help me get Eddy back.
But standing here and doing nothing isn’t an option. I brace myself for what’s outside, twist the knob, and cautiously open the door. I poke my head out, half-expecting to see blood splattered on the walls like some gruesome horror movie.
But there’s nothing.
No blood, no body, no Nikolai. The hallway is totally empty.
Whoever is shooting isn’t inside the hotel, but they’re close. They have to be. I heard that gunshot loud and clear from the bedroom.
I rush back inside the room, going for the window to get a look outside.
That’s when I hear the second gunshot.
And then the third.
14
Nikolai
