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I put my hand on top of hers, holding it in her lap until I feel her pulse slow down. “I’m with you, Dream. I know I haven’t made that very clear since we started seeing each other, but I want you to know now. I will do everything in my power to keep us together.” I glance down at her belly. “All three of us.”
Tears well up in her eyes as she looks at me. “I was afraid that you would say something totally different. That you would see me as a burden.”
I’m tempted to be offended by her concern, but I know if it were someone else, a man without the values that I have, that she’d be a single mother.
Life is cruel, and so am I, but not to Dream. I want to be her hero, her protector, and her lover. If I fail at any one of those, I’m not worthy of speaking her name.
“You’re not a burden,” I assure her, placing my free hand on her stomach. “Neither of you are. I’m going to make sure you have everything you need.”
“All I really need is you.”
My heart quickens at her words, and I feel warmth in my chest unlike anything I’ve felt before. She’s so perfect and so pure that I almost feel guilty for calling her mine.
But I must have her. Her perfection is the ultimate drug, and I could never give that up.
“I wanted to tell you something before,” I say, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “And I hope you won’t find it inappropriate for me to say now.”
She tilts her head, looking at me with such unbridled intensity that it takes my breath away. “What is it?” she asks, but I think she already knows the answer.
“I feel like it’s too little, too late, considering your news,” I say softly, “but maybe it’s time for me to say it. I know we had a tough time in the beginning, but you should know that I’m so madly in love with you. It’s been that way for a while, really, but I always felt like it was too much to admit to you. That maybe you wouldn’t feel the same, and that terrified me.”
“I didn’t think you were capable of being afraid.”
I laugh. “Most of the time, I’m not, but when it comes to you… There’s just so much I don’t want to lose.”
“You won’t lose me,” she says, pulling her hand from her lap and touching my cheek. I feel the warmth radiating from her fingertips and spreading across my face.
Her eyes widen, shimmering like diamonds with tears that threaten to spill over. “I’ve felt the same about you, even when I was terrified of what you could do to me. I couldn’t admit it to myself at first, but now I know that I love you, Nikolai.”
I lean in closer, my lips hovering just above hers, breathing in the scent of her as I experience infinity at the brink of her passion. “I’ve spent years building walls around my heart, fortifying myself against the world. But with you, I want to tear them all down. I want to be vulnerable, if it means experiencing your love.”
She closes the distance between us, her lips pressing into mine and crushing any doubt that anything could come between us. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close to feel her body against mine. It feels like I’ll never be able to get enough.
We break away for air, but our foreheads remain touching, our eyes locked together with such intensity that it feels like our souls are connected.
“Is it crazy that even though we’re about to go to war with the Cartel, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world right now?” she whispers.
“Maybe it is, but that would just mean you’re as crazy as me.”
32
Dream
Gabriel knows how to make an entrance. His voice booms down the hallway as he enters through the front door, like he must make his presence known to everyone in the house, should they be angry if they miss out on the opportunity to see him.
I’m drawn out of the living room to meet him as Nikolai and Jasha welcome him into our little temporary paradise. I’m sure he’s used to luxury, but he acts impressed by the place, nonetheless, laying thick compliments on Jasha’s choice of accommodation, and handing him a bottle of mezcal with a worm in it.
“Is that real?” I ask, grabbing everyone’s attention as I walk up to the four men standing in the hallway. I can see Gabriel now, and he’s not at all what I expected. Standing almost as tall as Nikolai and Jasha, his appearance is more akin to an orchestra conductor than a man who manages a private army.
“You must be the woman I’ve been hearing so much about – the breathtaking Dream,” Gabriel says, extending his hand. “And yes, the worm is real. It’s actually a maguey larva.”
I take his extended hand, and he lays a kiss on the back of mine.
“Always putting on a show,” Nikolai says with an obvious undertone of jealousy.
Gabriel winks at him. “Not as much as you, my friend.”
“Let’s just get down to business. Whiskey or wine?”
