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My hips were narrower too. Everything about me was more lithe and elegant. Beautiful as any of the Fae. Me, but at the same time, not me.
I ran my hands down my sides, and back up to my face.
"My mother knew. She must have known." That explained her eagerness to leave me at the temple. "Do you think—"
"I wouldn't put it past any of them." Zared came to stand behind me and slipped his arms around me. "But don't think about that. How you came about doesn't matter as much as the fact you did."
He turned me around to face him. Surprise flashed across his face when he realised we now stood eye to eye. "It's not all bad."
I slapped him lightly on the chest. "I was perfectly happy being as tall as I was."
"Me too, but…" He brushed his lips over mine without having to bend his neck. "I don't have to work as hard now."
"I'm starting to think I attract assholes," I said only half-teasing.
"I can't say I disagree," he said in the same tone. He glanced down, then back up again. "I don't want to defend any of them, but for what it's worth, they were worried about you. Tavian and I have been here pretty much since your heat. Keeping you cool and clean and watching over you. The only reason I left was because I hadn't had any sleep and they insisted.
"Ryze and Vayne were in and out all the time. Neither of them would explain anything. Tavian either." He was visibly frustrated. "I tried to get him to leave, but he refused, except for a few hours to get some sleep. I want to hate him for what he did to you."
"Did you talk about what happened between you?" I asked tentatively.
"No, we didn't talk much. When we did, it was about you. Mostly how worried about you we were. Ryze and Vayne seemed to think you'd be fine, but Tavian and I… When you started to scream…we both thought we'd lose you."
"But you didn't," I said. "Did you see me change?"
His eyes glazed as he thought back. "I thought I was seeing things. One minute you were how you were and then you weren't. I didn't understand what was going on."
"But they did," I guessed. They must have been waiting for it, to see whether or not it would happen. Hoping it would. If they needed my help to deal with the High Lord of the Summer Court, they would have been wishing for the transformation.
"Is the worst part changing, or that they didn't tell you it might happen?" Zared asked.
I shook my head. "I don't know. The whole thing is such a fucking mess. And now I have some kind of bond with all of you? I can't help thinking I deserved to know this could have happened."
The fact the bond was a surprise to all of them was no consolation. I couldn't think of anything that would make up for them keeping this from me. Ryze was right, I was pissed off. At him most of all. He was the High Lord, the alpha. If he wanted me told, I would have been. He single-handedly kept everything from me. And for what? Some supposed disagreement with another Fae court? He had no guarantee I'd agree to help him. Was he so desperate he'd take that gamble?
Did he realise he risked forming a bond with me? I had so many more questions than answers.
"You definitely should have been told," he said. "But is the bond so bad?" He stroked my cheek. "I feel your anger and confusion, but also your determination not to let this overwhelm you."
"You didn't need a bond for that," I said wryly. "How else would I feel about all of this shit?"
"Terrified?" he suggested. "Ready to kick Ryze in the cock?"
"I’m feeling both of those too," I said. The problem was, when I thought about Ryze's cock, it wasn't to kick him in it. I remembered the way he felt inside me, the way his knot locked him in place. The way his approval made me feel warm and satisfied in a way I hadn't felt before.
But his betrayal of my trust went far deeper than any of that. Bond or no bond, I wasn't sure I could ever forgive him for that, much less help him. Right now, I didn't even want to look at him.
"Lucky for you, you have me to help you get through it," he said, more than a little smug. Of course, he was the only one who hadn't screwed me over. He was also the only human left in Lysarial.
"Are you sure you don't want to go back to Ebonfalls?" I asked gently. "I can't go back now, even if I wanted to. I wouldn't be welcome."
The gods only knew what anyone there would think if they saw me now. I could just imagine the expression on Hycanthe's face. She'd probably think I deserved everything I got.
And Tyla. Was she all right, or had this happened to her too? Was it really the heat that did this, or was it from having a High Lord's cock and cum inside me? If it wasn't just the heat, and I got to her in time, maybe I could prevent the same thing from happening to her. At least warn her of what she might become. The rest of my sisters too. I wouldn't even wish this on Hycanthe.
"Because I'm human?" he asked, his tone strangely vacant. "Do you want me to leave?"
I gave him a steady look. That was easier to do now I was the same height as him. I must only be slightly shorter than the Fae men. No wonder it felt like my bones shattered. They probably had, before being put back together again differently. As long as I lived, I'd remember the agony. Was there any part of me that wasn't broken and rearranged? How could I possibly not be a different person after this?
