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"So, can the High Lord of Summer do the same sorts of things, but with heat and fire?" I asked.
"More or less," Tavian replied. "That makes ice arrows and swords slightly less useful. They tend to melt. On the other hand, an ice shield is good for neutralising heat. Ice can be deadlier, more quickly, because people can recover from burns better than they can recover from ice-holes." He grinned.
I snorted softly. I should have seen that one coming.
"So if the transformation is caused by the heat and not the alpha, why do I have winter magic?"
"I suspect that while the transformation would happen with or without the mating," Tavian signed slowly, "the magic is influenced by the alpha. It's possible that with another alpha involved, you wouldn't have magic at all. But all of this is so rare and there are so many different combinations, it's impossible to know the exact answers."
"Could he make an ice knot?" I asked. "Can I?" Did I need an alpha at all?
Tavian eyed me sideways. "Potentially, but where would the fun be in that? Unless freezing your pussy is something that appeals to you?"
"Not really," I admitted.
Zared, who was following the conversation from the other side of me signed, "I prefer warm and wet to cold and icy."
"Me too," Tavian agreed. "Although, I'll try anything once." He grinned.
That didn't surprise me at all. "Do you really have eight knives?" I asked.
He grinned. "Yes. I always like to come prepared. Part of me hopes I never need to use them, but the rest of me hopes I do."
I decided against asking. I had a feeling I might not like the answers.
He must have noticed my expression because he quickly signed, "Don't worry, I'll only use knives on you with your consent. I hope you'll let me some time, because I'm very good at knowing the exact amount of pressure to use." His eyes were on my throat.
In spite of myself, I swallowed. "Maybe when we get back to Lysarial."
"I knew you were my kind of woman," Tavian said approvingly. "Curious and adventurous. We can have a lot of fun together. Zared too, if he's game." He looked over to the other man. His expression was interested, curious, but without pressure. An open invitation rather than insistence.
"Maybe." Zared looked cagey. This was probably not the right time for this conversation.
"That's not a no," Tavian signed, a smile on his full lips.
"Give him some time," I signed back. "He's still not sure who to trust after everything." No one could blame him for that, least of all me.
"Are you?" Tavian cocked his head at me.
"Give me some time too," I replied. According to Ryze, I had plenty of that to spare, so there shouldn't be a problem with any of them giving as much as I needed. I might take a hundred years or so and decide how I felt about them then.
"Of course," Tavian signed. "Whatever you need. Both of you. Even without the bond, I'd want you to be my people, but only if you want that too."
I signed my understanding, but I couldn't give him any more than that right now. I didn't want to make any promises and have them be the wrong words, or the wrong sentiment. When everything sank in I may feel differently to how I felt in the moment.
I might take Ryze up on his offer to leave and find another alpha. What I saw of the Spring Court looked nice enough. I could find somewhere to be by myself and practice magic somewhere I wouldn't risk hurting anyone. I could even go out searching for the Court of Shadows or the Court of Dreams.
They might be led by an attractive alpha High Lord that never lies. Or possess an even bigger library than Ryze's.
For some reason, none of that sounded as appealing as maybe it should have. I needed to give myself some time too. Right now I needed to focus on why we were here and what we were doing. I didn't need to be distracted by thoughts of sex or self pity.
Wasn't it Ryze who said Fae were self absorbed? He was right. I’d never spent this much time thinking about myself when I was human. Even when all I wanted to do was talk, or live my life the way I wanted to, those were fleeting thoughts.
But now…the transformation was the first thing in my mind when I woke up. It lingered all day until I went to sleep. It haunted my dreams.
The pain, the way I looked now. A sliver of fear that I may forget how I used to look.
If I lived for a thousand years, how quickly would I forget how I looked for the first eighteen? What else would I forget? The temple? My sisters? The ones who made it to Havenmoor would be dust long before I died of old age.
