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She sighs. “Go on.”
“We’ve always had this competitive thing going between us. In the early days, it was more like sibling rivalry than open hostility.”
“When did it change?”
Good fucking question.“Adrik was always a thorn in my side. Constantly trying to outdo me, undercut me, sabotage me… but it never got to the point that I considered him a legitimate threat. At least, not until the Venera launch.”
“And now, you’ve decided to…” She pauses like the thought of ordering an execution is still too much to even think, let alone say out loud. “To do this thing. And you’re feeling… bad about this decision?”
“It is the right choice. There was a time when the competitiveness between us was a good thing. He pushed me to be better. A more accomplished fighter, a faster runner, a better shot. It was something of a game.”
“Until it wasn’t?”
“Until I becamepahkanand everything stopped being a game to me.”
“Maybe he was jealous of what you became.”
I grind my teeth. “I lost my mother and my only brother to get it.”
“Sometimes, people don’t appreciate the cost of certain things because they never have to pay that price themselves.” Sighing, my gaze finds hers. She stops massaging my forehead and cups the side of my face. “Maybe it doesn’t have to end this way.”
I smile painfully. “It’s kind that you’re trying to save him.”
“Him?” she balks. “Fuck him. I’m trying to find a way for you to avoid the guilt you’re already feeling for so much as considering taking him out.”
This woman.My God. She is a fucking marvel.
I shrug up to an elbow and pull her a little closer to me. “I’ve never done this before,” I whisper as my finger starts stroking the soft skin behind her knee.
“Gotten a scalp massage?”
I roll my eyes. “No. Discussed strategy with a partner. Discussed anything with a partner, really. I’ve never even wanted to before now.”
“And you… don’t hate it?” she asks hopefully.
I kiss her lips softly. “It could be worse.”
She sighs with obvious relief. “Good. Because I really, really enjoy this.” Her expression shifts. “Uh—I mean, not the topic exactly. Just thefeelingof—”
“I know,kiska. I get it.”
She smiles self-consciously and places a hand on my chest, just over my heart. “I want to be able to help you carry all this weight you’re toting around. You don’t have to do anything on your own anymore. We’re a team, Ruslan. We’re in this together. I want you to know that I’ve always got your back.”
I used to think that this kind of dynamic would be claustrophobic. But as it turns out, it’s invigorating.
In the end, it also helps put things into perspective. Because the truth is, I will do whatever it takes to keep this woman in my arms safe. To keep her happy. To keep her beside me.
Including destroying someone I’ve known my entire life.
“I have something for you,” I tell her suddenly. I reach over to the bedside table and withdraw a sheaf of papers from the drawer. I hand it to her and lean back to watch her reaction.
But one minute passes, then two, and Emma still hasn’t gotten around to turning over the first page. Given how bad her hands are trembling, I don’t think she’s read more than the first line of the first page, actually.
“R-Ruslan…”
“Emma.” My palms massage the backs of her arms as I nudge her forehead with mine to make her look at me. “Breathe,kiska.”
“It’s my parents, isn’t it?” Her hands are not the only things shaking. Her voice is dangerously wobbly, too. “They found a judge to overturn the order and—”
