AllFreeNovel
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The one thing none of us can resist is the fresh food that Ruslan has delivered to the apartment every evening. Now that I’m officially out of my first trimester and my morning sickness has passed, my appetite is annoyingly healthy. It’s almost six, which means there should be a delivery coming at any moment.
“You hungry?” I ask Josh hopefully.
“No.”
I glance at the girls. “What about you two?”
“No,” says Reagan, with a sly glance at Josh as if we won’t notice that she’s just saying what he’s saying. Then she adds, “… but I hope we get pasta tonight.”
How easily kids fall into new routines. It would have been amusing if the whole situation weren’t so freaking sad.
“Josh, honey, we need to talk.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t want to talk.”
“Tough. It’s happening.”
He does a double-take in my direction at the sudden tone shift. I’ve been really gentle with all of them this past week. It’s not working. Time for a new plan.
I set my book down on my lap and lean forward. “I know this is hard, kiddos, and I know you’re hurting, but it’s time to get your game face on. We can’t be sad forever.”
The girls rush towards me. Reagan gets on my lap and Caroline snuggles into my side. “Joshie misses Ruslan,” Caroline explains.
“Donot.”
Caroline pulls back. “You don’t miss him?” she asks innocently. “Not even a little?”
Josh glances at me self-consciously and my heart twists into a painful knot. “I miss him, honey, and I don’t think I should be ashamed to admit that. Neither should you.”
Josh crosses his hands over his chest. “He doesn’t care about us, so why should we care about him?”
“He does care about us,” Reagan insists, pointing at all the unboxed gifts in the corner of the living room. “He sent all those to us!”
Josh grunts. “That doesn’t count.”
Reagan looks confused. She’s still young enough to believe that presents are the ultimate gesture of love. I kiss the top of her head and remember a time when Josh was that young and naïve, too.
“Do you think that maybe we should give him a chance to explain?” I suggest.
Reagan nods immediately. “I think so.”
Caroline takes a little longer but in the end she nods as well. “Only if he promises to be nice to everyone,” she tacks on.
I turn my gaze on Josh. “What about you?”
He looks between all three of us, chewing on his bottom lip the entire time. “I… don’t know.”
“You don’t have to decide right now, bud. Take your time. Think about it. This is a family decision.”
“Auntie Em?” Reagan’s looking up at me from my lap. These are the moments when I realize how fast she’s growing. How much longer will she fit there? “I really miss him.”
I have to bite my tongue to keep the tears at bay. “I know you do.”
“He just has to say he’s sorry. If he says he’s sorry, then it’ll all be okay.”
“No, itwon’t,” snarls Josh. “Saying you’re sorry doesn’t change anything.”
I put my hand on Josh’s leg and squeeze his ankle gently. “Sweetheart, everyone makes mistakes. Everyone says stuff they don’t mean.”
