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“I know I’m being a bitch. I’ll apologize properly after this kid’s out of me.”
Ruslan chuckles. “You have nothing to apologize for. You’re a fucking warrior.”
“Really? Because I feel like a wuss. How did Sienna do this three freaking times?”
I’ve been thinking about Sienna a lot lately. She was the first person I thought of this morning when my water burst right in the middle of school drop-off.
Yeah, that had been a lot of fun. The little kids thought I’d peed myself.
“Sienna probably had the same thoughts and feelings you’re having right now,” Ruslan offers. “But then you push out a perfect baby and you forget.”
“Iwon’t.”
“Yes, you will. And I’ll remind you of that when we’re back here in a couple of years having our next one.”
“I’m sorry—nextone?” I screech. “I sure asfuckam not doing this a second time. We have four kids now. That’s plenty. Or we will, anyway, if this babyevercomes out.” I stare at my belly. “Pleasecome out. Mama’s tired.”
“And terrifying.”
“What was that?” I snap.
“I said you look so beautiful right now.”
He chuckles and I can’t help but smile along with him. The door opens a second later andhallelujah, it’s Dr. Rollins with two nurses at his back.
“How’re you doing, Mrs. Oryolov?”
I don’t bother correcting him. I’m in too much pain to go through the wholewe’re-together-and-in-love-but-we’re-not-currently-married-or-engagedspiel.
“Doc, I need to have this baby,” I tell him desperately. “You gotta do something.”
Dr. Rollins parts my legs gently and checks to see how far I’m dilated. “Hmm…”
“Seriously. Induce me if you have to. Or just cut me open and pull the kid out because I can’t take—”
“Looks like we’re ready to roll.”
I stop short. “W-what?”
He smiles at me. “In a few short minutes, you’re gonna meet your baby,” he announces, getting to his feet. “Let’s get her prepped for delivery.”
I turn to Ruslan slowly. “I-it’s time…”
He grabs my hand. “I know you’re scared—but don’t be. You can do this. And I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
* * *
They say it takes a few months to forget the pain of childbirth.
For me, it takes about as long as washing my newborn son up and putting him on my chest. I stare down at his crinkly pink face and marvel at the fact that, only a few moments ago, he wasinsideme.
Tiny as he is, I still can’t believe he fit.
I glance up at Ruslan and find his hand somehow. “You’re a dad,” I whisper.
He smiles. “I already was a dad. But it’s a new experience, seeing a newborn like this.”
“Do you wanna hold him?”
