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Of course, Emma would freak out. But I’m okay with that. Anything to make her pay. And Ihavebeen doing my best on that front.
It’s a subtle kind of vengeance, though I’ve found in my life that subtlety is often overrated. I keep my distance from her more often than not and I make sure, when we do spend time together, that I don’t do anything to disturb the kids.
It’s when we are alone together that the gloves come off.
I make sure she knows just how pissed I am to be forced into a corner with her. I stare at my screen. I glower and snarl and keep my words to a growled minimum.
I’m waiting for the day when I stop having to force myself to do all those things.
Because the truth is that I stare at my phone to avoid staring at her. I glower and growl because if I let her in even an inch, I’m going to lose the battle with myself. I’m going to take her back into my bed, my heart, my life, and if I do that, I risk going through what my father went through.
It doesn’t help that she barely reacts to me anymore. She keeps her own feelings bottled up tight and out of reach. Even when I’m cruel to her, she doesn’t react apart from a half-flinch or a fraction of a frown. Maybe shedoesn’tactually care. Maybe she’s pretending, just like I am.
Either way, I find myself wanting to grab her and shake her.Wake up,I want to yell.Fight back.
“Ruslan?” Josh asks, breaking through my tangled thoughts. “When are we going back to school?”
I cringe. Emma brought up this same topic a few days back after the kids had been out of school for the third week in a row.
I concentrate on Josh. “Soon. There’s just one catch: you’re not going back to the same school.”
Josh does a double-take. “Really?”
“Yeah. Does that sound okay to you?”
“Yeah. I never really liked the school we were in.” He shrugs when he sees me arch a questioning brow. “I didn’t wanna say anything because I didn’t wanna make Aunt Em feel bad about it.”
This kid…I don’t know what the hell is wrong with his father. If I had a son like this, I’d scream it from the fucking rooftops.
“Well, I’m here now. You don’t have to worry about things like money anymore. I’ll take care of you and your sisters.”
“Aunt Em, too?” he asks tentatively.
“Of course,” I say in as neutral a voice as possible. I have to dig my nails into my palm to keep from grimacing.
“Why do we need to change schools, though?”
“I need to make sure you and your sisters are protected. This place I’ve chosen for you is safe.”
“So… no one will be able to get to us? Even Dad?”
“Not even your father,” I assure him.
Josh sighs. “Okay then.”
I knew Josh hated his father but this is the first time that I’ve detected a hint of fear. “Is there something you wanna tell me about your dad?”
“No.”
His answer comes a little too fast for my liking. “Josh. You can tell me anything.”
“I…” His cheeks flush with color and even his ears go red. “I… I feel bad.”
“About what?”
He sneaks a quick glance at me and his ears only get redder. “I don’t want you to hate me.”
I place a huge hand on his shoulder. “Listen carefully. There is absolutely nothing that would ever make me hate you. Trust me on that.”
