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“He doesn’t know how to be a kid! He’s forgotten how to be an eight-year-old and that’s completely my fault because I haven’tallowedhim to be an eight-year-old. He’s had to shoulder the burden of his fuck-up dad; he’s had to look after his sisters; and I didn’t notice because I was just… I was so damnbusy.But tonight, I saw it so clearly. I fucked up, Ruslan. I’ve fucked him up and—”
“Emma.”
That’s all it takes to shut me up.
“You inherited three children, a drunk, and a fuck ton of debt. You were trying tosurvive.”
He’s not wrong; it just doesn’t really make me feel better. “He’s soangry, Ruslan. And how could I blame him? He has every right to be angry. He lost his mother to a drunk driver, he lost his father to grief and booze, and now, he’s forced to be an adult for his sisters. It’s not fair!”
“You’re right—it’s not fair. But Josh is a strong kid. And he has you.”
“I’m not sure that’s enough anymore.” I take a deep breath. “Ruslan, I’m taking you up on your offer to help him.”
“I thought you might.”
“Am I that predictable?”
His dark chuckle does a little something to my knees. “No. You just love the boy that much.”
Okay. Thatdoesmake me feel better.
“I’ll pick him up after school tomorrow,” he says. “That okay?”
I nod gratefully. “Yes. I’ll inform the school. Thank you, Ruslan. I just—thank you.”
“Goodnight, Emma.”
Josh is pouring himself a glass of water when I crawl back through the window. He raises his eyebrows and I give him a guilty smile. “Busted.”
He giggles and the sound warms me from the inside out. I’m not gonna stop until I hear that sound every freaking day, five times a day. Ten, if I can manage it.
It’s not too late to save him.
“Guess what, kiddo?” I wait until I have his full attention, though I can’t keep the goofy grin from my face. “Ruslan’s gonna be picking you up from school tomorrow.”
His eyes go round and his jaw drops. “Ruslan? Really?”
“He wants to do something with you. And I think it might be fun. What do you say?”
“I-I…Yeah! Okay!” He runs towards me and grabs me around the waist. “Thank you,Aunt Em!”
That night, after all three kids are in bed, I slip into the shower. My tears are lost under the running water when I think about that worshipful look in Josh’s eyes when I told him about Ruslan. He used to look at Ben like that, once upon a time. Sienna would be heartbroken if she could see the state her family is in now.
I’m sorry, Si,I sob silently as the cold water numbs my skin.I’m doing the best I can.
43
RUSLAN
“… already got him set up with our most advanced security system. Remote-controlled CCTV cameras, complete with infrared sensors for all the doors and windows.”
I glance at my watch. It’s getting late and Vadim doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to wrap up this meeting. I’m about to crawl out of my skin with impatience.
“I’ve also suggested a biometric gun safe with rapid release.”
I nod distractedly. “Sounds great. So what’s the problem?”
My uncle scowls. “The problem is that this fucker is paranoid, nephew. Even with the audio-enabled cameras and digital keypad access, he’s not satisfied.” He raps a knuckle on the client file open on the desk between us. “He wantsmore. He wants—”
