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“I’m sorry, it’s just…Whatdid you say?”
“Denial is very common among young women who are suffering at the—”
“No, not about that. About the three-children-and-one-on-the-way part?”
She frowns and then consults her clipboard. “You’ve mentioned the date of your last period as June. That was two months ago.”
“Oh, that… I couldn’t really remember my last period. I just put in the date that I couldremember.”
The doctor’s brow pinches together. “If you can remember June, why not July?”
“The human brain works in mysterious ways?”
Dr. Nara gives me a sympathetic nod. “As I said, denial is common amongst women who suffer from abusive relationships. I’m sure another pregnancy is less than ideal for you right now but—”
I sigh. “It’s not that. I have a blocked fallopian tube. The chances of me getting pregnant are basically zero. And those three kids are my sister’s, not mine. I’ve never been pregnant. I doubt I am right now.”
She cocks her head to the side. “You have one defective fallopian tube?”
“Yes.”
“And the other one?”
“Excuse me?”
“Is your second fallopian tube blocked also?”
“Um, well, no. I mean, not that I know of. But the way my luck’s been going…”
The doctor nods. “Maybe we should do some tests, just to rule it out?”
I swallow. “Sure.”
“I’ll clean you up first and then we’ll get the bloodwork done.”
I spend the next half an hour staring up at the fluorescent lights until I start seeing weird patterns dancing in front of me. Somehow, they all look like babies.
“Alright, Ms. Carson. We have your test results back.” I jerk upright and wince. “Whoa there—let’s take it easy, shall we? You’ve been cut up pretty bad. Those wounds will take a few weeks to heal completely.”
“T-the results?”
She gives me a look that I can’t quite interpret. Is that sympathy? Pity? Apology?
“You are in fact pregnant, Ms. Carson.”
Pity.Definitely pity. The buzz of the overhead lights suddenly sounds like a baby’s cry.
“How… h-how is that even possible?” I stammer. “I had a test done, like, just a few days ago. That was when they caught my blocked tube.”
“Things change quickly. There could also have been some malfunctioning equipment or a faulty reading of the results. But there’s no denying this, Ms. Carson. You’re pregnant.”
Goosebumps erupt all over my arms.I’m pregnant.I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I don’t know whether to feel happy or sad. I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do now.
“Ms. Carson…” I look towards the doctor, hoping that she might have the answers. “You are still in the early stages of your pregnancy. As a rule, we don’t normally encourage this, but—you don’t necessarily have tostaypregnant if you don’t want to.”
I frown. What is she saying?She’s offering me a way out…
My first instinct is NO.
