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I step back into the safety of my office and close the door on her faltering smile.
Well, that was a fucking shitshow. But itdidget me thinking.
Apparently, everyone has babies on the brain. Everyone except me. I need to make sure that I’m covered with Emma where that’s concerned. The contract has a detailed section on contraception that Emma signed, indicating she was on the pill. But that leaves the responsibility squarely in her hands.
I thought I was comfortable with it at the time, but the more I think about it, the more I want to take back some control. Condoms aren’t my favorite thing, but I’m willing to wear them if they’ll prevent an unwanted pregnancy with my secretary.
It’s alarming how fast the image rushes to the forefront of my mind. Emma, wearing a blouse similar to the one she’s wearing today—except that it billows over her stomach to accommodate the child she’s carrying.Mychild.
No.
That’s just the caveman in me talking. I don’t even want a child. I certainly don’t want one with Emma.
No matter how much my dick is suddenly obsessed with the idea.
19
EMMA
“What’s different about you?”
On the inside, I’m wincing hard. I’ve been terrified of this exact question ever since Phoebe called me up yesterday and suggested we go out for lunch. I keep my face perfectly composed as I answer. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Even to my own ears, I sound fake as hell and twice as guilty. This might just be the first time I’ve ever had to lie to Phoebe. It’s not as though I’m kicking off this new phase in our friendship with a small secret, either. It’s a whopper of one—a six-foot-four, two-hundred-pound secret in a Tom Ford suit and Patek Philippe wristwatch.
“Hm.” Phoebe drapes her coat over the backrest of her chair and fixes me with an intense stare. “Is there something I should know?”
“Why do you ask?”
She shrugs. “You just seem a little different. There’s, like, a bounce in your step.”
Okay, she may have a point, but it hasnothingto do with Ruslan. At least, not in the sense that I’m catching feelings or anything. I’m just riding the sex high straight into Orgasm Town. It’s a nice place to be. Especially with someone who knows his way around the bedroom like Ruslan does.
“Oh my God!” Phoebe gasps. “You got laid!”
She blurts it so loudly that the people sitting at the tables on either side turn around to stare at us.Fantastic.Now, the whole world knows.
I avoid all eye contact from the gawkers and lean in toward Phoebe. “First of all—no! And second of all—shhh!”
Phoebe waves away my horror. “Pshh, please. New Yorkers don’t care about a damn thing. And you were blushing just then! What were you thinking?”
Orgasm Town.
“Nothing! I’m just earning a little extra cash, okay? Maybe that’s why I apparently have this alleged ‘bounce’ in my step. It’s nice to put a dent in those loans.” I exhale sharply. I almost let it slip that they’ve all been paid, but that would be a huge tipoff I literally cannot afford to make. “You have no idea what a relief it is to know for sure that you won’t run out of money at the end of the month.”
I might be hamming it up just a little. But I really need to sell this story.
Unfortunately, Phoebe's eyes narrow and she sucks in her cheeks. I know from personal experience that nothing good can come from that expression. “You may not be lying to me, but you’re not telling me the whole truth, either.”
I avoid her gaze by picking at my almond croissant. “Listen, Pheebs—”
“Thereisa guy, isn’t there?” She grabs my wrist and I’m forced to meet her eyes.
I squirm in my seat, feeling the weight of that contract settle on my shoulders. It wasveryclear. But half an hour with my bestie and I’m already cracking under pressure.
“There’s a… guy, of sorts,” I concede.“But I wasn’t gonna tell you because it’s not serious.” My chest feels super tight and I’ve completely lost my appetite. And that’s saying something, because Choux-Choux Cafe’s almond croissant is like manna from heaven with crack cocaine dusted on top.
“Um, hello? I’m the queen of casual sex,” she reminds me.
