Page 100 of I Wish I Would've Told You

I Wish I Would’ve Told You

I’m sitting at my kitchen table, reading her words and I haven’t come across anything that excuses or explains her years of lies. Nothing that excuses keeping the birth of our daughter from me.

My heart is reeling and broken in pieces, and yet I still have this urge to comfort her about this bullshit she pulled.

Sighing, I take another sip of coffee and start the letter from the beginning, hoping that this time will be the time when I can finally get past the third page.

* * *

On page eleven,sixteen lines down, in the second to last paragraph, her writing shifts from wistful to downright painful.

I want you to know that I’ve lied to you.

Not once.

Not twice.

This entire time.

Every letter you received from “Tully” was actually from me.

(And there’s a reason I used the recovery center or the hospital for the return address.)

At first, I wanted you to let go of me, ofus, because I knew

that living without me was painful enough for you. It was painful for me, too, but I could move around in the world and temporarily lessen the pain; being locked inside a cell doesn’t offer the same ability.

You told my father that you didn’t want anyone to see you behind bars, and I know you meant that…

The media harassed me and Tully for months when we were released. They had questions and they wouldn’t give up until they finally realized we didn’t have any answers.

Any letters that you sent to certain people—fangirls mainly—were reported on from time to time…something called “the Freedom of Information Act,” I believe.

Your father helped me discover a loophole, though.

Since medical records & hospital correspondence don’t fall under that act, that’s why I used those addresses.

I still feared that news would get out, though, and without you here with me to face the “sister’s boyfriend” mess, I couldn’t do it…

I desperately wanted to tell you that I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl,ourbeautiful baby girl, and I considered bringing her to the prison to meet you, but…I just thought that would hurt you more since you wouldn’t be able to leave with us.

I named her after the flowers you always gave me.

I Wish I Would’ve Told You,

Scarlett

55

ME

Days later, when I open the door to check my mail, I find Easton standing on my porch.

He’s glaring at me like no time has passed since our last argument.

“Is now a bad time?” he asks.

“Yes.” I start to shut the door, but he overpowers me and holds it open.

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