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Stepping closer, I bent and pressed my lips to his forehead. “Thank you. Because of you I want more for myself. Now I just need to figure out whatmoremeans.”
He tried to grab my arm but didn’t have the strength. “No, Belle. I can help.”
“I don’t want your help.” Perhaps a tad harsh, but the words were true. “I have to do this on my own.”
I could see the moment he shut me out. It was like a curtain descended over his expression. One second he was staring at me eagerly, desperately. Then his gaze became impersonal, with no hint of emotion. As if I were an inanimate object, like a piece of dust or a plant.
Then he shifted his head, looking away.
My hands shook with the need to touch him, but I kept perfectly still. This was for the best. Bax was going to live. He would continue his reign here in Hell’s Kitchen, while I figured out the rest of my life. Perhaps our paths would cross again one day.
If only it didn’t hurt so much.
Tongue thick, I whispered, “Be well, William.”
He didn’t acknowledge me, didn’t even blink.
So I left.
On my way down the steps, I passed Matty. Whatever she saw in my face had her straightening off the wall. I licked my lips to moisten them. “He’s awake. Fever’s gone.”
“You coming back?”
The backs of my eyelids burned as I shook my head. “Take care of him for me.”
She squeezed my shoulder briefly before letting her hand drop. “I always do. You need anything, you know how to find me. And it can stay quiet.”
I never expected such kindness from her, and I nearly started crying right then. “Thank you.”
She went up the stairs toward the man I loved and I walked in the opposite direction. Toward the street.
Toward my uncertain future.
CHAPTER15
Isabelle
Three months later
It was strange to be on my own. Strange, but also exhilarating. My father and I hadn’t spoken since I moved out of our Upper East Side home. I lived above my shop these days, and I loved it.
My shop.
Hard to believe, but the place was really mine. After fencing my jewelry, I had enough money to buy a small storefront and adjoining apartment. Then I put both parts of my plan into motion.
First, I approached a few modistes and asked them to let me sell some of their undergarments on consignment. As dresses were their true money items, most of them readily agreed to supply me with corsets, drawers, silk stockings, and the like. This gave me the inventory to open up the doors.
The second part of my plan would take a bit longer. When I had extra money, I would take my own designs back to the modistes and pay to have them made. These pieces would have a label under the store’s own name:Belle’s.
We were an instant success. I chose a space near both Ladies’ Mile and the Tenderloin district, which gave me a wide clientele. Curious and daring uptown ladies shopped here, as well as flocks of dancers and actresses. And the working girls of the bordellos were some of our best customers.
Though I was busy, I still had time to think about Bax.
Had he moved on without me? Of course he had. Did I honestly think Billy Baxter was pining away for me? I didn’t dare ask Matty when she occasionally stopped by to visit.
Regardless, it felt as if something was missing from my life. Or rather, someone. I just wasn’t sure what to do about it.
Could I forgive him? I didn’t know. As time went on, I wasn’t as angry. Just hurt.
