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But...she couldn’t just let him know.
She lifted her chin, then pushed herself off the floor, holding on to her carton as he released it at her sudden movement, then reaching with her other hand for his.
He handed it to her, and then he rose gracefully from the floor. She had to close her eyes and look away to keep from watching him. She always enjoyed the controlled way he moved. Like a jungle cat. Each move graceful, but containing power that was carefully leashed.
“You’re not going to answer my question?”
“Yes. I’m going to answer. You told me more than you’ve ever told anyone else, to my knowledge anyway. How can I keep anything from you?”
“I didn’t tell you that so that you would tell me what I wanted to know.” He followed her to the garbage can, carrying the empty take-out bag. “It wasn’t bribery or anything along those lines. Forget I even asked.” Frustration lay in his tone as he threw the bag away. “Maybe I need to prove that I can be more than just about me. Maybe it’s not about how you feel about me, but it’s how I act toward you.”
“What?” she asked, not understanding.
“I told you that I trusted you. Told you that more than anyone else, I know you will always make the decision that would be the best for me. You have my best interests at heart, and you will work for it. You don’t know that about me. Not toward you. I’ve never once made a decision that was the best for you that caused me any hardship at all.”
“You just flew home from the Cities for me. You stopped and got Chinese food. You brought it up. You knew I’d be working. You knew all those things about me, and you did that, even though it would have been easier for you to stay in the Cities.”
“But I wanted to be here.”
“Maybe I wanted to help you. Maybe I wanted to do those things because doing those things for you benefited me, since I work for you. I am part of your company. If good things happen in your company, good things happen to me, too. Right? How many times did I get a raise after I did something well? You compensated me for that.”
“You can’t buy loyalty.”
“No. But you can’t forget you were paying me. And I have never paid you a dime. Everything you’ve done for me has been because you wanted to, not because anyone was expecting you to or because your paycheck depended on it.”
“Are you trying to tell me that the only reason you did anything good for me was because I was paying you? I’ll call you a liar. And I know you’re not one.”
“No. You’re right. I just didn’t want to forget that. After all, money makes people do strange things sometimes.”
“Tell me about it. That is truth.”
“I like to eat.” She smiled, hopefully breaking the tension. “That is truth, too.”
“And I know it. That’s why I came bearing peace offerings.”
“You didn’t have to come bearing anything. And you know that.”
“Because it’s my office.”
“No. Not because of that. You know I’ll always welcome you. Wherever I am.”
“I really don’t.”
“You know it now.”
She turned and wrapped her arms around herself. He had asked her a question, and she successfully changed the subject, and maybe he didn’t remember that he asked, but later, he might remember she hadn’t answered him, and she didn’t want him to wonder or to think that she hadn’t wanted to answer because there was some kind of negativity in her answer.
“You asked me how I felt about you.”
“And I told you, you don’t have to answer. I haven’t done anything to prove myself to you.”
“I’ve worked with you for seven years. I’ve worked with you rather closely for those seven years. I feel like I know you.”
“You do.”
“And I really like you. I really, really like you. More... More than the secretary should like her boss. That was before I even knew about your childhood. I admire what you’ve done with your life. I admire what you did this weekend. How you decided to make changes, and you didn’t just think about those changes, but you started implementing them immediately, so much that I noticed the change.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
