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They’d just been kids. Their relationship had developed out of their simple friendship. He’d always been drawn to her and she to him. He’d cuddled her when she was upset, and over the years he became her comforter and eventually, her confidant. But that was later, after their friendship had developed into a full-fledged relationship…
She’d always seemed to like being with him, she relaxed completely in his presence. She came out of her shell around him and verbally sparred with him, sassing him and being playful and fun. But as home time drew nearer she’d withdraw again, hiding her emotions deep inside herself. He hadn’t known why, she refused to say. She’d pretended everything was okay. But when it came time for her to go home, he knew it wasn’t. Her whole body would tense up when her family’s car came into view. Her smile would fade. She’d withdraw back inside herself, getting quiet and sad. But she never said a word. He only knew she was unhappy because he knew her so well. They spent so much time together that reading her body language came naturally to him. And although she said she was okay with her words, her body told a different story.
They used to ride together a lot. Riding down to the river at the back of the farm had been a favourite trek. They’d gotten off, once. They’d tied the horse’s reins to a tree and stripped off to their underwear and spent the next hour or two swimming in the river, splashing each other with the ice-cold water. It wasn’t deep enough to swim properly, but it was good for having fun. There were too many people around, normally. The river was a favourite spot with all the riding school pupils, and on summer afternoons the banks on both sides were crowded with kids and horses. But that summer evening, after everyone had left, it was just the two of them. They had the river to themselves, and they made the most of it. Jason closed his eyes, smiling, remembering.
She’d had her license by then and drove herself around. It meant he didn’t have to watch her face fall at the sight of her parents’ car. She made excuses to stay for as long as she could, and by then he knew she was often going home to an empty house—her father worked long hours at the hospital and her mother would either be out drinking or sleeping off a hangover, so they spent more and more time together. He remembered riding out to the hills with her and watching the sunset together, huddled together on the side of the hill, the horses grazing nearby. He remembered them huddled up in the tack room together on winter days, cleaning saddles and bridles while a storm raged outside, the rain soaking everything through, the wind blowing around everything that wasn’t tied down. The thunder and lightning causing her to jump and cover her eyes and sneak closer to him, for protection. Not that he minded: he told her often that he would always protect her.But I didn’t, he reminded himself bitterly.I didn’t protect her from that bastard who called himself her husband. I didn’t protect her from the man who broke her. Where was I then? Chasing the Olympic dream, that’s where.
He smiled again as he remembered teaching her how to drive in the ute on the farm, laughing as she crashed into the hay bales he’d set up as a course for her, when she was learning how to steer. He’d taught her how to use the clutch, making her practice again and again at changing gears with the car off until she could move the gear stick smoothly, finding each one seamlessly each time she depressed the clutch.
He’d always been there for her.
Until he wasn’t.
The first few times she’d journeyed out from the city had been good—great, even. They’d both enjoyed their time together. But once she started studying and the Olympic selection had gotten closer, they’d both been busy. He had lived and breathed training. The Olympics had been his obsession.
He leaned against the door of the feed room, having just given the last horse his dinner, and shook his head sadly. So many memories. So many regrets.
* * *
Eat a proper meal. Takeaways don’t count!
Have a shower.
Drink some water. Not wine!
Go outside into the sunshine for ten minutes.
Pick up your rubbish and put it in the bin.
Wash your dishes.
The texts came thick and fast over the next two days, instructions for self-care. Nothing sweet or tender to indicate that he was thinking about her, just orders. Do this. Do that. Commands that she knew he fully expected her to obey. Things that most people did every day just as a matter of course, but that she’d been neglecting. But it was typical of Jason. In his own way, he was showing her that he cared; keeping her from falling apart completely. Some of them she followed, some of them she didn’t. But when Friday morning rolled around, she was freshly showered, she ate breakfast, and everything was all packed ready to go.
Jason had texted her very specific instructions for what to wear and they included no underwear. And a dress. It was a long drive, he’d said, and he wanted to be able to play with her as he drove.
Yes, Daddy, she’d texted back, her insides pulsing with lust.
CHAPTER6
This truly was the middle of nowhere. They’d been driving for what seemed like forever. Christchurch and all its bustling busyness felt like a lifetime ago. And it could have been, for all she cared. Christchurch didn’t feel like home anymore. It felt like a prison.
The closer they got to Ryan’s Peak Station, the more nervous she got.I’m coming home. Coming home.The words were going around and around in her brain, forcing out everything else, but she had no idea why—although she’d seen the same hut in her dreams forever, Ryan’s Peak Station was completely foreign to her. Until she’d stumbled onto the website, she’d had no idea the place even existed. She’d never been in this part of the country before. Never explored these back roads that meandered through the foothills of the Southern Alps. These mountain valleys and craggy peaks off in the distance weren’t familiar at all. But the words still kept echoing in her head, confusing her.
I’m going crazy!she thought in frustration.Steve was right. I’m insane.The more she tried to push thecoming homewords away, the louder they echoed in her head. A dull anxiety lodged itself right in the pit of her stomach and she sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves.
Dust sprayed up behind them off the gravel road and the Pajero fishtailed as Jason took a corner a bit too fast.
“Jason! Slow down!” Catherine squealed, grabbing at the door handle.
Jason smirked. “Sorry,” he said, not at all remorsefully, reaching over and squeezing her thigh. It was probably meant to be a comforting gesture, but he’d grabbed her too high up to be a purely innocent touch, and she sucked in a breath.
He took his eyes off the road and turned to glance at her briefly, the corner of his mouth curving up into a little half-smile. The same one she’d fallen in love with all those years ago. Just as it had done back then, that smile made her breath catch in her throat, sent tingles up her spine. Left her powerless with longing.
He turned his attention back to the road again, but he drove with only one hand on the wheel. The other one slid slyly up underneath her skirt, his fingers creeping gently up the inside of her thigh. She held her breath as his fingers kept trailing upward, getting closer and closer to that delectable spot between her legs. His fingers were magical. His skin was rough, even rougher than it had been back then, but his touch was so feather-light at the same time, leaving a delicious torrent of fizzing sparks in its wake. Catherine pressed her spine back into the seat, opening her legs further, a silent invitation.
Jason didn’t need any encouragement. Still focusing intently on the road ahead of them, he continued walking his fingers up her inner thigh, until he gotthere.His fingers brushed against the crotch of her knickers and she froze as he turned to look at her, his brows drawn together in a stern frown.
“I gave you an order.” His voice was deep, gruff. “You deliberately disobeyed me.” The scolding tone sent shivers rocketing to her core, turned her stomach up in knots. That voice had always been able to do wicked things to her insides.
