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“You’re not sorry enough,” he insisted. “You’re only sorry that you’re facing the consequences.”
Jason’s astute observation was bang-on, but Catherine didn’t want to admit to that. No way. So she tightened her grip on the duvet and buried her face even more. Every nerve ending in her body was alert, waiting. She fought to keep her bottom relaxed, because clenching hurt.
“I’m sorry!” she wailed into the bedding.
The first lick of the belt wasn’t as bad as she expected. Not after the intense sting of the wooden spoon, anyway. The leather was a lot more forgiving than the stingy little wooden implement, and she didn’t think Jason was swinging it overly hard.
But the next one was different. The loudcrackof leather hitting flesh made her startle and then she felt it. The bite. It spread across her entire bottom, intensifying and deepening and it left her breathless and squirming.
The third smack came down with barely a pause and made the burn even sharper. Worse, the belt left a deep throb that lingered after the initial burn had eased, and it was still increasing when he laid the fourth smack down just below the third.
Catherine muffled her cries in the duvet, pressing her face so hard into the bed she couldn’t get any air. But she didn’t dare lift her head for fear she would scream for real. And she didn’t want to do that. She was too stubborn to let Jason see how much this was hurting her. She was going to take this stoically, even if it killed her.
Jason whipped the belt down again and again, pausing for several seconds between each smack to let the sting build up fully. Each whack was harder than the one before it and the wicked lash felt brutal against her already punished skin.
Every muscle in her body was tense. Rigid. Tight. It was taking all of her willpower not to raise her hand and stop the punishment, but she forced herself to take it.I deserve this, she told herself.I knew about Louise. I saw the pain in Jason’s face when he told me about her. I promised him I wouldn’t run, for that reason. But I ran anyway.
She tightened her grip on the bedcovers, opened her mouth and took the duvet cover between her teeth, biting down so hard it hurt her jaw. She was determined not to cry out. Her whole body trembled violently with the effort, her shoulders shook with silent sobs, and tears wet the duvet beneath her face, but she stubbornly remained quiet as Jason belted her thoroughly, reddening her ass from just below her tailbone to the tops of her thighs.
The belt fell twice more, criss-crossing over the welts that already striped her bottom, and then Jason threw it down. She heard the rattle and clunk as the buckle and leather came in contact with the wooden floor. She couldn’t breathe quietly, so she held her breath, waiting. Jason was still. Both of them were silent. She held in her sobs; she didn’t want to miss anything Jason might whisper. And then the bed dipped as he sat down beside her. He placed his hand gently on her shoulder and her whole body relaxed at his touch.
“It’s okay,” he whispered.
But it wasn’t. Not really. Her bottom hurt way worse than she would have ever believed it was capable of hurting, but she still felt guilty. The whipping on top of the spanking should have given her absolution, it should have been cleansing, but it didn’t and it wasn’t.
“It’s not okay,” she whispered back. “My butt hurts like you wouldn’t believe but I still feel really guilty,” she said, her voice choked up and sad. “I’m so sorry I ran, Jason. I’m so sorry.”
“I preferDaddy,” Jason said as he lay down beside her, wrapping one arm around her and pulling her close, the fingers of his other hand tangling in her hair. A tremble went down her spine as he leaned close and kissed her neck, just below her ear. “And I’m sorry too. Carly pointed out in no uncertain terms that women don’t just run off and get themselves lost up here for no reason.”
Despite her tears, Catherine chuckled. “I knew I liked that woman! But seriously, I wasn’t lost. I knew exactly where I was. I was just stuck.”
Jason kissed her neck again then whispered directly into her ear, “Well,Ithought you were lost, and I was terrified. But I am sorry for my part in this whole awful fiasco, baby girl. I don’t think you’re crazy, and I wasn’t implying that you were. I was just trying to be logical. That’s all.”
“Thereisn’talways a logical explanation, though.”
Jason’s grip tightened around her. He seemed to know that she needed him, needed reassurance.
“No, there isn’t,” he agreed. “But I always try really hard to find one.”
They were both silent for a minute, and Catherine turned her head so she could look at him. His face was only centimetres from hers, and the second their eyes met, he smiled at her. He disentangled his fingers from her hair and wiped the tears off her cheeks with his thumb before cupping the back of her head, pulling her closer, and kissing the remainder of her tears away.
“I hurt so bad,” Catherine whimpered pitifully, tears springing into her eyes again. “You didn’t have to do it so hard!” She hated the way she sounded: so pathetic. So childish.
“Yes, I did,” Jason insisted. “If I hadn’t done it, you wouldn’t trust me to follow through in the future, would you? You wouldn’t be able to rely on me to give you the structure and discipline that you need.”
Catherine pouted exaggeratedly, sticking her bottom lip out as far as it would go, but she knew that Jason was right. Partly, anyway. If he hadn’t punished her at all, she would feel let down. Especially after he’d spanked her on the side of the road when he discovered she was wearing knickers after she’d agreed not to. If he spanked her for such a minor transgression but then let something like this—something serious—go, she knew it would feel wrong.
“I don’t need that,” she insisted, her voice sounding very much like that of a small, indignant child. “I’m perfectly capable of doing that all by myself.”
Jason chuckled and shook his head. “Oh, no, you’re not, baby girl. You’re a scatterbrain, disorganised, completely lacking in structure and self-discipline. You’ve been that way for as long as I can remember and it doesn’t look like you’ve changed at all. And I love you for it.”
Her eyes widened. “You do?”
“Yes, baby girl, I do,” he confirmed. “And I know you need Daddy’s discipline. I know you need it very much. I know you thrive on it.”
She pouted again. “Not fair.”
He leaned forward and kissed her nose. “Very fair.”
