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“What are you doing?” she cries, and I am tempted to grab her again. Her chest is heaving, her hair is ruffled, and her already full lips are swollen from the kiss.
“Why did you do that?” It is clear that she is upset by me pulling away, but I have to know.
I have to know.
“Who are you? Who are you? I need to know who you are?”
She scoffs impatiently at my question. “I’ve already told you who I am. I am a mate to a third cousin of the King –“
“I know that isn’t the truth.” I snap the words, more sober than ever.
“I know that isn’t the truth.” I repeat the words in a calmer tone of voice a second time. Her eyes are wide. And almost angry.
“Why are you here? How did you even find me in a random street? In all of Vhoig, how did you find me? And I know you’re not human – even if you look human.”
Her face is changing subtly before me as I ask her the last question.
I take a step towards her. My voice is so gentle when I speak to her that it surprises me.
I want to know her. I want to know who she is. And I want her.
“Who are you really?”
Her face changes even more. Gone is the seductive expression. Instead, her eyes are hard, and her full lips are pressed into a thin line.
Even her body changes. Her stance changes, becoming almost predatory.
For a second, before everything changes, I see the hesitation on her face.
She doesn’t want to do what she is about to do,I think to myself, and I wonder what she is about to do to me.
But the hesitation passes as quickly as it flashed across her face and instead, all I see is this hard mask that I know is impenetrable.
“You’re not as stupid as you look,” she says coldly.
She takes a step towards me, and I know that all the physical training I did as a child and teenager would not have prepared me for this, forher.
Whatever she is, she isn’t human. She is dangerous and cold and unfeeling and all I can feel is regret.
How can I regret something that never even happened?
How can I regret that I lost her before I had her?
I wish it had turned out differently.
I take a step away from her, but I am still too drunk, too weak, to make a safe getaway.
I don’t think she is going to let me get out of here alive. I thought she was a good thing that happened to me. Am I not allowed to have something good?
“What do you want? If it’s my family’s money, I can get you that. Not a lot, but I can get you money if that’s what you want?”
I realize every day how much I want to live, despite everything, and I realize that even more now as I bargain for my life.
She laughs sharply, mirthlessly, and my blood goes cold.
My heart drops to my stomach, and I swallow convulsively as I think about all the ways she could hurt me.
“Money is not what I want. You could give me all the money in the world, and you wouldn’t be able to repay your family’s debt.”
