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Her tone made it clear she had no idea how stunning she was. I couldn’t take her to my bedroom in this cabin and do all the things I really wanted to do with her, but I could make sure she knew how much I wanted to.
“You drive me crazy in that swimsuit,” I said.
She furrowed her brow in disbelief. “This is a ten-year-old grannie suit. Most of the other women here have tiny little bikinis on.”
“Didn’t notice,” I said, meaning it. “You’re more beautiful, smart and sweet than any of them anyway.”
She scoffed. “I think you’ve got your beer goggles on.”
“I felt this way before today,” I assured her. “Even when I’m stone-cold sober, I think you’re spectacular.”
She smiled. “Thank you. I spend so much time in the kitchen focused on food and service that I tend to forget I’m...you know, a woman. And I think you’re spectacular, too.”
I sighed softly, not wanting to ruin the moment by bringing up my ex, but needing Shea to understand where I was coming from.
“My ex-wife got pregnant with another man’s kid while we were still married,” I said.
“God, Holt, I’m so sorry.”
“No, it’s not...I’m not telling you because of me.” I took a deep breath. “She wanted to take my kids to California with her because that’s where her new husband lives, but I fought her in court and won.”
“I had no idea.”
I nodded, remembering the day I won the most important thing I’d ever be competing for, which had nothing to do with hockey.
“They went from seeing their mom every day of their lives to never seeing her,” I said. “Marley’s counselor told me they went through a grieving process similar to what they’d experience if she died.”
She shook her head. “I don’t even know what to say. I don’t have kids, but if I did, I can’t imagine leaving them like that.”
“I need my kids to know I’m never leaving them,” I said. “And it’s one thing to tell them that, but...”
Shea nodded emphatically just as the sliding glass doors opened.
Shit. Worst timing ever. Coulter stepped out onto the deck.
“Can we finish this conversation later?” I asked Shea softly.
“Yes, but I know what you’re getting at. You dating a woman could make your kids worry that you’ll do the same thing their mom did. And I totally get that. I don’t want to be part of making them feel insecure in any way.”
I rubbed her bare shoulder with my thumb, my arm still around her. “If I could, though...I mean, if I were in a position to just think about myself and be with someone, it would be you.”
“You two lovebirds gonna go eat dinner?” Coulter asked.
Lovebirds. I liked the sound of that, even though it was impossible.
Others were streaming out the sliding glass doors now, and I looked at Shea. “I could eat. You hungry?”
“Starving. And it would be nice to de-raisin.”
I stood up and then offered her a hand. We were both drying off when Grady came over and clapped a hand on my shoulder much harder than necessary.
“How’s my sister?” he asked me, his words slightly slurred.
“You should ask her.”
“I’m great, big brother. How was dinner?”
“Outstanding. Ribs, baked potatoes and cooked carrots.”
