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Alex follows, letting her out, and then hoists himself up on the counter. “Didn’t think we’d see you this early.”
“He’s not a big sleeper. Remind you of anyone?”
I don’t have to guess to know he’s referring to Robbie.
“But it’s good you’re here. He’s stewing over something.” Cruz tops off his mug. “I have a feeling this may be a double dose of caffeine type of conversation.”
Memories of last night roll through my mind. The ease Rowan has with these men. But not only that, it’s their unyielding acceptance and support they clearly feel.
“I’m not a selfish man,” I start.
They share a look of confusion.
“At least, I wasn’t a selfish man until I met Rowan. Never saw myself as stupid either until the night I fucked up and let her walk away thinking she meant nothing.”
“You hurt her,” Cruz speaks cautiously.
“I know, and I also know what you did to help her.”
“Of course.”
“What you don’t know is that night, when she didn’t go home, I was close to losing my mind. As barbaric as it sounds, she was mine, even when she didn’t know it.”
“You really know how to make a girl feel special.” Alex’s sarcasm grates on my nerves, but he has a right to feel this way.
“Think I’ve proven myself and my intentions by now.”
“We know you don’t want her here. You want to lock her away in your love nest.”
I crack a grin at Cruz’s terminology. “You’re right, but I need to thank you.”
Alex’s eyebrows shoot up, his eyes going wide. “Thank us? For caring about her?”
“More than that. Last night, it became clear how comfortable she is with you. She’s had a shitload of fucking waste in her life the last year. She’s guarded herself for a long time. With you two, the shield is down.”
“Ford—”
“Did you know she didn’t sleep at night? For fucking months, that woman worked herself to exhaustion until dawn before lying on a sofa for a few hours of restless sleep. It’s a wonder she could function.”
“Yeah, we knew that.” Cruz reacts unhappily.
“She sleeps here.” I hope he picks up on my point.
They both nod.
“It’s no secret I want Rowan under my roof full-time. But she has some fucked up misconceptions about it being too soon. In the few weeks I have to wait for her to see reason, it soothes the burn that she’s sleeping under your roof. That sense of safety is everything. So, again, I’ll say thank you.”
Cruz stares at me a beat, working through something before he replies. “Don’t hurt her, Ford. I know from personal experience even the strongest women who learn to survive have a breaking point. She trusts you, and her love is a gift. Don’t mess that up because she may not recover.”
“Been in the thick of combat, made split decisions that meant life or death. Men I consider brothers came home in boxes. Watched helplessly as two of my best friends were shot and fought for their lives. But never have I felt as powerless as when Craig Johns had her at gunpoint. The scene I walked in on will haunt me forever.”
“You saved her.”
“Yeah, but the fucker had his hands on her, shoved down on the bed. Even in the darkness, I could see she’d given in to his evil and resigned to what was happening. He shouldn’t have gotten that far.”
I immediately catch the apprehension in his eyes. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“I know that. And every time I look at her, knowing what she means, it helps calm the vicious rage that lives inside me.”
