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“My head just gets in the way.”
“What happened tonight?”
He stays silent . . . his jaw clenching as if he’s holding himself back.
“Hen, if we are going to work out, you need to talk to me. We need to have a clear and open line of communication.”
He listens but still stays silent.
“What was the trigger tonight? What set you off?”
He gives a subtle shake of his head.
Seriously . . . this is pointless.
I’m beating my head up against a wall here.
He lies on the floor and puts the back of his forearm over his eyes to cover his face. “I had a fleeting thought where I knew where I wanted to be in five years,” he murmurs.
Oh no . . . he doesn’t want this. Scared of the answer, I ask the question. “And where was that?”
“Married . . . to you.”
I frown. Not the answer I was expecting. “And that . . . ?”
“Fucked with my head.”
I nod as I begin to understand. “You’re processing.”
“Processing what . . . that I’m a complete fucking asshole?”
I smile softly as I lie down beside him. “That things are changing.”
We lie in silence for a while.
“I don’t know how to turn my head off.” He sighs.
“So don’t.”
He frowns.
“Henley, just because you have feelings for me doesn’t mean that you are out of control.”
“It sure feels like it.”
I roll onto my side so I can see his face. “What does it feel like?”
He thinks for a moment as he tries to articulate this. “Like the floodgates have finally opened, and as a consequence, I’m about to drown.”
“Because you’ve been holding yourself back from everyone for so long?”
He nods.
I stay silent as I try to think of the right thing to say here.
“I’m an all-or-nothing kind of person, Jules. As far as relationships go, I’ve always been nothing.”
I listen.
