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At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
I’m not sure if I’m more scared to admit the fact that I am pregnant out loud to him or what his reaction will be. His world is dark, and not really fit to raise a child within.
I don’t know how to tell him that either.
I don’t know how to share my thoughts with him.
I don’t think of him in any way like Tony because they’re two completely different people. I was scared of Tony. But with Kyson, I’m more afraid of hurting him, which is laughable considering who he is. He has showed me kindness, and the only other man in this world to ever do that is my father.
“Um…dear? There is a man at the door asking for you.” I get off the couch and head to the door, thinking it’s a delivery of some sort. But the only thing I’ve ordered while I’ve been here is food. “He is very handsome.” My feet freeze in place before I reach the door, and I slowly turn my head toward her.
“Does he look menacing?” I ask, and she scrunches her nose up with a slight smirk.
“I don’t think so. He was very polite.” She smiles. Okay then, that can’t be Kyson.
I get to the door and see Kyson standing there looking at me from the other side.
“Hello, love.”
“Ohh,” my mother breathes out as she reaches for the screen door and pulls it open. “You must be the father. It’s so nice to finally meet you. We had the first ultrasound the other day, and they said the baby looks healthy.” Kyson’s eyes find mine, then fall to my stomach, but he can’t see anything because it’s still quite early in the pregnancy. It takes him a moment to recover.
“I’ve heard so much about you. Would you mind if I stole your daughter for ten minutes? I have some information I need to share with her,” he says directly to my mom.
“Of course,” my mother gushes.
Kyson offers me his hand, and I look at it, unsure if I should take it, before I place my hand in his and step outside.
“We’ll be back,” I tell my mother as we walk out.
I’m barefoot as he leads me to his car. He opens the door and waves for me to slide in. I do so, and he closes me inside. Kyson walks around the hood to his side, gets in, and starts the car, turning the music up but not too loud. He grips the steering wheel hard and blows out a breath.
“Kyson—”
“How long have you known?” he interrupts, not looking my way.
“I found out the day you came to the café to find me.”
His knuckles start to turn white on the steering wheel from the force of his grip.
“Did you intend to tell me, or were you planning something else?”
“I wasn’t planning anything. I was trying to get my head together.”
He turns and faces me, his eyes dark, but I don’t feel afraid.
“I want to know these things,” he insists.
“Do you even want kids?” I ask.
“That’s not the damn point. I am not him. You tell me things. That’s what we do.” He breathes deeply and then tries to reassure me by repeating, “You tell me things, Kalilah. Do you get it?”
“I do. And you need to know I’m keeping the baby, but I don’t expect anything from you,” I manage to squeak out.
He looks away, and I can’t read his face. Is he mad because of what I said? I know I’m young, and what we have is new, so I really don’t expect anything from him. I lift my hand to put it on his shoulder but pull it back. I’m not sure what is the right thing to do in this situation.
“You’re keeping it?” he asks.
“Yes.”
