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“Exactly.” He starts the engine and shows me how to steer, accelerate, and slow down. The controls are simple, so I catch on quickly and steer us in the direction everyone else went, but BJ guides us away from them.
“I want to show you something cool.” He takes over steering, and for a moment I think we’re about to run right into an island, but he slows down and cuts the engine as we pass through a narrow opening and end up in an alcove. A beam of sunlight shines down in the center.
“This place belongs on a greeting card.”
“Right? This is my favorite spot on the lake. Most people miss it because it’s tucked behind that.” He points in front of us, to the tiny island that obscures the view of the lake.
“How’d you find this place?”
“By paying attention to the things other people don’t, I guess.” He kisses the side of my neck.
“That’s kind of your thing, isn’t it?”
“Seems that way.” He laces his fingers with mine. “How has this week been for you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Lots of new people in your world. Lots of change. It isn’t always easy.” He rests his chin on my shoulder.
I lean into him, oddly at ease, despite his question. “I keep waiting for the bottom to drop out. I’m so used to disappointment that I’ve learned to expect it,” I admit.
“Hmm…” He lifts our twined hands and presses his lips to the back of mine. “That’s a hard mindset to rewire, I imagine. Here I am telling you wishes are hope with wings, and you’re used to having yours clipped.”
“That’s an astute and unfortunately accurate observation,” I murmur.
“Hope is an invasive emotion. It’s difficult to control once it starts to grow.”
“All of this, the Hockey Academy, you, Rose and Lovey, my job… It all feels so fragile, like a bubble that could burst at any moment.” It’s terrifying that I could blink and it would all be gone. And it truly could. “It’s hard to step outside of my world and into yours. They’re so different. I have this taste of what it’s like on the other side, quite literally.”
I trace one of the watercolor flowers on his forearm. “I know this is just a snapshot of your life. That you work hard on the ice. I see that. But I also get these glimpses of possibility. That life doesn’t have to be an incessant grind of work, come home, work some more, take care of people who can’t or won’t take care of themselves. Wash, rinse, repeat.” I tip my head until my temple meets his lips. “I know your perceived advantages come with disadvantages. There’s no good without bad. But I’ve spent my life conditioned to stay inside my box of less. And then you come along, and suddenly there are opportunities, and I want to take them all.” I blow out a breath. “Fuck. Why did this get so heavy? This is the perfect make-out spot, and I’m over here being a total rain cloud.”
“You’re just being real, which I appreciate.” He wraps his arms around me. “I know I can’t see it through your lens, but you’re not wrong. Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it can buy comfort, and sometimes it buys complacency. We get used to our own reality and forget what’s on the other side. You make me want to look outside myself.”
I tip my chin up. “You make me want to be selfish.”
He brushes my cheek with his fingertips. “You’re allowed to want good things, Winter. More than that, you deserve them.” He slants his mouth over mine, and I sink into the kiss. This one is different. It’s not just fueled by hormones and lust. There’s more, and it scares the hell out of me.
But then BJ unbuckles my life jacket. “Thank you for opening up to me. I know it’s not easy.” He kisses me again, soft and slow, in no hurry to move things along.
Lust is a much easier emotion to deal with. And maybe he knows this too. He breaks the kiss so we can take off our life jackets and drape them over the handlebars. His arm comes around my waist, and his fingers splay across my stomach. His warm chest presses against my back and his other hand trails down my thigh. The hand on my stomach moves to cup my breast, thumb sweeping over my nipple through the fabric.
Desire pools low in my belly, and an ache flares between my thighs. “This is my new favorite spot on the lake.”
“Mine too, for a very different reason than it was a few minutes ago.” He nips at my neck and tugs one cup of my bikini top to the side, exposing my nipple. He rolls it between his thumb and finger, then tugs.
I moan and arch, wanting more of his touch, of his lips on my skin.
He bites my earlobe. “I fucking love that sound, Snowflake.” He shifts his other hand, cupping me through the bikini bottoms.
I make another needy sound. “Touch me, please.”
“I am touching you.” He rubs over the fabric. His index finger finds my clit and circles it.
I roll my hips and do us both a favor by shoving the fabric to the side and guiding his fingers back to my bare skin. I sigh. “That’s so much better.”
He pinches my clit between his index and middle finger. Then rubs slow circles. Sensation rockets through me, need and desire taking over.
I let my head fall back against his shoulder. “Good fucking Christ. All week long I’ve been waiting for this.” The sun sinks toward the horizon. The beam of light we’re sitting in flickers like a bulb that needs to be changed.
