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Colin's brows knit together. “You here to see me or Dylan?”
A fist tightens around my heart at his assumption that Lake came to hang out with him.
Lake and I peer at each other. His lips pull into a grin, but he just sighs and replies, “Definitely here to hang out with you.”
I shoot him a quick scowl that gets mirrored with a subtle wink.
“Good,” Colin says with a nod. “Good. I have a race.”
“Perfect,” Lake says. “But, I'm hungry.”
Anxiety cripples me again as I recall the emptiness of my cupboard and refrigerator.
“I'm gonna order a pizza,” he continues. “You like pepperoni?”
“Yeah. Yeah, pizza. You worked up an appetite. It smells like sweat.” Colin goes to set his bag on the floor against the kitchen cabinets as I practically shrivel into myself, imagining the chaos that would've unfolded had he come home ten minutes sooner and seen his little sister being plowed from behind on the dinner table by an NFL player.
I'm frozen in place as Lake smoothly says, “Yeah, just got back from practice.” He lifts his sweatshirt to his nose, sniffing it. “Sorry, man.”
“You can shower. Shower and we can watch a race. Pizza and we can watch a race. I have to fill out my forms.”
Lake's eyes fall to the forms on the table, and I swear I can hear him laughing internally as he licks his teeth. The race form is bent out of shape, sticking up awkwardly from being crinkled up in the heat of passion. I swallow as he grabs the paper, smoothing it out.
“I'm here to help.” He smiles up at him before his eyes find mine again. One look, the same one he gave me a moment ago when his hand held my jaw, and I’m reduced to Lake water.
I feel his statement in everything that he is. He's here to help in more ways than one. He’s here to help with the workload I carry alone. Here to help keep us together by making it his mission to include Colin in everything we do. And, subsequently, here to show me how to love again.
“You don't like them either,” Colin states, and both of our heads quickly snap back to him.
His eyes focus on something on the floor near the kitchen. Lake sits up in his seat to get a better look.
“Good. You don't like them either,” Colin repeats while nodding.
Pulse is rising. Death, approaching.
Lake stands and, with one long step, quickly swipes something off of the floor. With his foot on the garbage, he opens the container, and I see him drop my ripped lace thong into the garbage can.
He smirks at me from across the room through hooded eyes with that all too sexy grin, and if I had panties on, I’d drop them to the floor again.
“Can’t stand ‘em,” he purrs.
46
Lake
Ihatebeingonthe other side of that wall.
Feeling cold, closed off to the warmth of that heart I've felt within.
I didn't expect to be here. With my dick tucked, begging a girl with endless apologies after pushing her until she broke. But here I am, ready to do whatever it takes to win her back.
I said some fucked up shit. Called her weak and unattractive after pressuring her to open up to me. I pushed and pushed her, needing her to give me something back. I wanted to hear that she envisioned a future with me in some capacity. A future where her love and devotion expanded to include me. The promise of something more. I needed to hear it.
And selfishly, I broke her down as I sat back with all my doors closed.
The acceptance and acknowledgment of the fact that cancer promised to take away my rock, the only person I've ever known to love me unconditionally, terrorized me. I didn't want this reality. I wasn't lying when I said I couldn't do this alone. My truth slipped from my lips like a scared little boy. I need Dylan's strength more than I care to admit. And the craziest part is she still has no idea.
I order some pizzas from the kitchen table before going over the race form while Colin takes a shower and Dylan folds clothes in the living room. I kind of just made myself at home here and don't plan on leaving anytime soon. But since she hasn't kicked me out yet, I'm going to assume she wants me to stay. A girl like Dylan would let you know.
