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The torment in his eyes says more than his words ever could. He closes them tightly, shaking his head before gently placing his hands on my wrists, pulling my hands off him and dropping them between us.
“Don't make this mistake,” I cry out. “Don't push me away to protect me.”
It's what he's doing. It has to be.
“It's us, Lake,” I whisper, reiterating his own words.
His lips part as he exhales a shaky breath. As if the words are physically paining him in the same way his actions are paining me. He runs his hands through his hair, blowing out all the air in his lungs.
“I have to go.” He turns from me then, jogging down the cement stairs and never looking back, leaving me in the stairwell alone.
I wait, listening until the steel door slams shut, feeling its hollow echo everywhere inside me, down to the center of my bones.
He just left.
Just like that.
Thunderous music blasts from above me, breaking my trance. I shake my head, attempting to brush off Lake's departure and turn to run up the remaining stairs. I hear a plate shatter from my apartment before I even step inside.
Bursting through the old wooden door, I walk in to see Colin in a ball on the kitchen floor, rocking as he slaps his head while the television blasts some cable show.
“Col! Col, calm down!” I rush over to get him away from the broken shards of the plate he's fallen on. “What happened?!”
I see my purse on the couch, on top of the remote where it landed when I tossed it and ran after Lake.
The loud noises, the shock of the plate he must've dropped—it's too much. He's in full-fledged meltdown mode, and with everything he's just dealt with today, there's just no coming back.
He swings his arms at me as I approach him. I grab one, attempting to pull him away from the plate before he gets cut, but he draws his arms inward, causing me to fall into him.
He hits his head again, harder this time, with his fists curled tightly, so I get behind him to try to hold him still like we always do, singing Kanye until he sighs and relaxes. But his fight is more than it's ever been. He twists an arm back, trying to get me off of him and ends up sending an elbow into my side. All the air leaves my gut at the hit as I fold into myself.
His anxiety turns into rage as the show continues blasting through the television speakers. Another hand comes up to hit his head, but he hits my forehead instead. A shard from the plate must've been stuck to his palm because I feel the warmth of my eyebrow splitting and see the blood dripping onto the linoleum floor beneath us.
“Colin, stop!” I cry out, grabbing his forearms again as I roll with him on the ground. I successfully wrestle with him until my legs are around his hips, my biceps wrapping around his upper arms in a secure hold. His frustrations get the better of him and his heels begin scooting back on the floor, pushing until my back meets the kitchen cabinet behind me.
He pushes back forcefully, and I'm trapped behind him.
“Col! Stop!” I gasp as his body continues pressing against me, his heels scooting him against me harder and harder. “I can’t breathe!”
My chest can't expand as his arms continue flailing against my hold, screaming out the way he does, trying to cover his ears. If I can just get him to calm down…
My strength is weakening as the seconds continue to pass.
“Col,” I whisper, the scene around me getting hazy.
There's a noise at the door, a shuffling of feet. Before I realize what's happening, I see the shadow of Lake running towards us.
“I got him,” I breathe as Colin forcefully shoves me back into the cabinets again. “I got this, Lake—”
But Lake doesn't listen. He’s in panic mode. He rips my arms from Colin and tries to pull him off me. Colin swings again and makes contact with Lake, punching him in the jaw as he claws out around him.
“No, no, no! Lake, don't—” I scream in terror before Colin's arm flies back and hits me in the face again.
In the scramble, arms fly as legs kick before Lake finally grips Colin's arm, getting him off me. Colin flies forward with the force, hitting his face on the retaining wall separating the kitchen from the small dining area. He slides along the wall, the blood already smearing.
“Colin!” I scramble to get up off the floor, kneeling next to him. Colin's nose starts bleeding immediately, the blood pouring down his canary-striped shirt and onto the floor beneath him. He immediately curls into himself, holding his face as he rolls from side to side.
Lake steps back immediately, both his hands raised in the air. “Oh my God,” he whispers to himself, his hands now covering his mouth as he mutters, “What have I done?”
