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“What’s the guy’s name?”
“No. I appreciate your need to go feral, but bringing me up here for the night is plenty. That shower felt great and sitting on a soft couch with all this space, is even better. I’m not letting you get involved with the other weird shit I have going on. It’s my—”
“What’s his name?”
She pinches her lips together and snaps her gaze toward me. “What’s it matter? I’ve been saying this whole time I hated how controlling he was. I need you to dial it back if you want me to keep talking. Plus, what’s in this for you? You hate me. You couldn’t wait to leave tonight. Hell, you couldn’t even answer one single question earlier.”
I huff out a sigh, then look away and back again. I know I need to give her something if she’s going to let me help. “The marriage question scared me. I’ve spent all my life out here doing my own thing, and day to day it’s fine. I keep busy with the horses and building up at the lodge. Lately though, I come home, and the silence is overwhelming. I can turn on the TV, hear the dogs barking, but it's almost like the quiet is screaming at me, you know?”
“What changed?”
I glance back toward her, avoiding the hard spears of her nipples again. “Age maybe. That or I’m a fucking idiot who couldn’t see until now how growing old alone affects a person.”
Her head tips gently to the side as her gaze softens. “I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely. I think that’s one of the worse feelings there is.” Maybe her heart is softer than it presents.
“Nah, the worst is helplessness—knowing you could’ve changed something or helped someone somehow, but as hard as you try or as much as you want to, there’s no fix.”
“Who do you wish you could’ve helped?”
Holding her gaze, I draw in a deep breath, and decide to change the subject. I realize we’re being open and sharing, but talking about the day my brother fell off a horse out on the range and I couldn’t get to help fast enough, isn’t how I’m ending this night. “What’s your second question?”
I expect her to push back, but she must see something in me that drives her forward.
She glances down at her phone. “Are you sure? This is another deep one.”
My brows narrow and I swear a bead of sweat gathers at my hairline, but I’ve already decided to keep going. “Shoot.”
“Okay,” She wrinkles her nose. “How do you feel most loved?”
“Shit. These questions are hard. There isn’t a what’s your favorite cookie on there?” I stroke my hand over my beard.
She laughs. “Nope. I’m dying to know now, though.”
“Chocolate chip. You?”
“Classic. I pegged you for an oatmeal raisin guy. I don’t know why.” She smiles. “I’m a chocolate and peanut butter girl myself.”
“All of those sound good, really. I’m not too picky when it comes to dessert. Love, though, I have no idea how to answer that question.”
Her arm tucks out of the t-shirt and her hard nipples are on display again, making it even harder to think. “What if you looked at it like something that makes you feel cared for?”
I scan my brain for an answer but the only thing that returns is ridiculous. “Work maybe?”
“Work?How so?”
“I’m usually really busy, so when Doc drops by with dinner or one of the guys gives me a hand on the ranch, I guess that’s when I feel most… cared for.”
A slight smile climbs onto her face as she nods. “So, like if I made you dinner and apple pies, or if I fed the horses so you didn’t have to.”
“Yeah. I like that you inserted yourself into the equation.”
Her cheeks turn pink. “Well, I was just… it was an example. I’m not saying I would. I—”
“I’m teasing. What about you?”
Her face turns upward in a sweet innocent smile. “Oh, that’s easy! Praise! Praise, stability, touch… that’s probably too many.”
“I don’t think so, but what does that look like in practice? I need step-by-step notes.”
