Page 31 of Two to Tango


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‘Are we all set, then?’ Madge rises from her seat, breaking our standoff. She places a hand on Brooks’ shoulder and they exchange an unspoken communication.

‘We’re all set,’ Kerry says, narrowing her eyes at me, as if to ask why I was just lost in all things Brooks. I would also like to know the answer to that question.

* * *

I drag my Louis Vuitton suitcase up another flight of stairs, then stop on the landing before tackling the next. I remove the elastic tie from my hair and retie a higher ponytail, lifting my hair off my clammy neck.

‘You’re telling me that of all the days and times the elevator could break, it’s now, when I am moving into your building?’

Brooks’ mouth curves at one side in a sick and twisted kind of smile, then he continues up another floor, with ease, though heiscarrying a significantly smaller case than the one I’m lugging.

‘Looks that way now, doesn’t it?’

‘You planned this, didn’t you? You had the concierge do something. I bet if I were to stand in that elevator shaft right now, the lift would be there and it would take me up to your floor.’

He pauses midflight and smirks down at me. ‘You want to try it, be my guest. Don’t expect me to pick you up when you plummet to the basement.’

‘You’re sick, Brooks Adams.’

‘No sicker than you. Carting this much luggage around is a sadistic thing to do. How much stuff can you really need, anyway?’

‘You’d be surprised,’ I puff, recommencing the struggle upward.

He moves around another stair wall and out of view. ‘At least those greens keep you nice and strong, huh?’

I have never wanted to harpoon someone through the head so much in my life.

We finally make it to the twelfth floor. I’m pleased I decided to wear gym kit for the move but I’m still sweating from all the ugly places. I can feel stickiness between my boobs. I try to subtly dip my fingers into my sports bra to wipe it away but Brooks turns right as my fingers are wedged in my cleavage.

He has stopped outside an apartment door and raises one brow. ‘I know you said you wanted a ride but playing with your breasts in the communal areas is a little desperate, Izzy.’

‘Would you just bugger off?’

‘Sure thing. I’ll leave your ridiculously oversized luggage here, shall I?’

‘Look, this constant fighting has got to stop. We’re working together now.’

He tilts his head to one side in such a bloody supercilious way, I want to slap his chiseled face. ‘I’m sorry, Izzy, you’re right, fighting in public places is a little uncouth. Not like arguing via a blog post available to the world, for example.’

Stomping my feet as I pull my case, I move to his side. ‘You really need to get over that.’ I eye the blue door and the gold numbers 124 nailed to the center. ‘Is this my apartment?’

‘No, this ismyapartment. You’re two doors that way. I just want to show you this door and let you know that you are not welcome here. If you run out of milk or sugar or you watch a scary movie and need a buff man to put an arm around you, there are around one hundred sixty other options in this building. Consider 124 off limits.’

Dick. Big, massive, huge, enormous dick.

He steps to one side and gestures down the hall. ‘Shall we?’

‘Yes. For the record, I don’t take milk or sugar. And if I did want a ride, you’re the last man on earth I would stroke my tits for.’

‘Classy, Coulthard. Real classy.’ He chuckles and I have to fight not to laugh with him. ‘And, for the record, the elevator has been broken for weeks. Come on, Tits, lead the way.’

I try to open the door but the key seems to be sticking, and ramming my shoulder into the wood doesn’t help.

‘Don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself. Here.’

Reluctantly, I move aside and hand the keys to him. He manipulates the lock and opens the door. As he’s staring intently at the lock and wiggling things on the door, I take a look around.

The open-plan kitchen and living room are bright enough, despite both windows looking onto another apartment block. The furniture is smart, for a rental. It’s cold and bachelor-like, all black, white and chrome, but I will take that over some seventies green velour and psychedelic wallpaper, I suppose. Small mercies.

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